4 Ways to Take Control Your Life and Break Bad Habits

To take control of your life, recognize that habits are response patterns to situations. If you are a smoker, you reach for a cigarette when the coffee is served, but not during the soup. You don't smoke or even want to in church, in the theater, in a courtroom, or in other places where no one usually smokes. However, given the right circumstances you will light up.

In order to break a habit, then, you must recognize that you must deal with the source of satisfaction - that is, you must want to change your ways and give up the real or imagined benefits; you must be aware of what you are doing, and, you must take in account the situation that had become associated with the habit.

A number of methods for habit breaking have been proposed by therapists working from different points of views. Here I will review some of them and recommend the one that I believe is the most effective.

1. One method for habit breaking is through negative practice. This is deliberately repeating a habit over and over again until you are totally bored with it. This method can be used when you seem to be unaware of when or why you are doing something. This procedure calls attention to the situation involved, which makes them recognizable so that preventive action can be taken. 

2. Another method that can be used is the tapering off method. This is a long-term process and works only if you are seriously interested in breaking the habit. If the habit is related to a life-threatening disease such as cancer or heart disease your motivation to break the habit can be significantly strong enough so that nothing else may be needed.

3. Another method is to quit cold turkey.  You may experience significant stress with this approach or you may perhaps experience some joy out of being able to make such a complete break. This is not a method, but a decision that you make and are willing to stick with despite the potential discomfort that you will experience.

4. Finally, in my judgment the best way to break any habit is to follow the five main components of the habit reversal method:

a. Recognize that the habit is a strong or persistent urge that is not rooted in deeper psychological problems.
b. Keep precise record of urges and count the number of times that you actually succumb to them.
c. Develop an awareness of the chain of events that leads to or results in the unwanted behavior.
d. Learn relaxation method as a means of combating the urges.
e. And, substitute a response that incompatible with the unwanted behaviors.

If you really desire to quit any habit and take control of your life this five easy step process really works.

10 Things You Need to Know About Your Preschooler

Even though pre-school has been back in session for over three months, still in the back of your mind may be the question, What Do I Need to Know for Kindergarten? and, Is My Child Ready for Kindergarten? 

However, for parents of even younger children, the question is, What do I Need to Know About my Preschooler to Help Him to Have a Valuable Preschool Experience?

While in a another post, I focus on the kindergarten questions, for now I will list The Ten Things You Need to Know About Your Preschooler. 

Here they are:

1. Infants can see color and shapes very early in life.

2. Preschoolers like to hear the same story over and over again.

3. A child in the womb grows accustomed to her mother's voice.

4. Preschoolers like to sing, chant, and tell stories.

5. Listening is a receptive skill that requires preschoolers to think and interpret.

6. Speaking and listening habits profoundly influence of preschoolers’ ability to write.

7. Infants, toddlers, and preschoolers understand many more words than they can say.

8. Preschoolers need to see that reading and writing are useful and enjoyable things to do

9. Preschooler natural curiosity and desire to make sense of their world are the only motivation they need to learn.

10. Preschoolers learn by doing things – – actively exploring books and print. 

Go to the The Critical Pre-School Years for more valuable preschool information on raising your pre-schoolers.


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Single Grandparents Raising Grandchildren - A Growing Situation

Across the country, more than 2,400,000 grandparents, regardless of income, background, or race, are responsible for meeting the basic needs of their grandchildren.

In Illinois more than 103,000 grandparents are responsible for meeting the basic needs of their grandchildren with over 41,000 of these grandparents living in Chicago alone.

These grandparents, many of whom are single, are caring for children whose parents cannot or will not care for them due to substance abuse, illness and death, abuse and neglect, economic hardship, incarceration, divorce, domestic violence, and other family and community crises.

If you are among this growing number, no matter why or how they came to live with you, your grandchildren will benefit from being in your home. When children cannot be with their parents, living with a grandparent may provide:
- Fewer moves from place to place
- The comfort of a familiar language and culture
- A chance to stay with siblings
- More contact with their parents, depending on the situation

 Nevertheless, despite these benefits, the children will face some unique challenges:
- They may feel insecure and unsure that you will take care of them.
- They may act out or challenge you.
- They will miss their parents.
- They may be anxious or depressed.
- They may seem young or act too old for their ages.

As grandparents caring full time for your grandchildren, you will encounter many of these emotional and psychological issues faced by the children. The world is much different for children now than when you as a parent raised your children. Consequently, you may need help not only in meeting the emotional needs of your grandchildren, but perhaps also with the legal, financial, medical, and educational issues that come with this new role. If you need help, don't hesitate to seek it.


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