Single Parent Guide for Building Your Child's Independence

Your challenge is a parent is twofold. You have to prepare your child to handle life situations as they arise. 

And, you have to learn to recognize when your child is ready for new freedoms, and be willing to grant them.

Understand and teach your children that some failure is inevitable. Treat any setback as a learning experience – – for you and for them.

Here are 4 ways to build your child's independence.

1. Watch for readiness and respond to the signs you see and hear. If your child is asking about letters, then you child is ready to learn the alphabet. If your child is carefully watching you prepare dinner, then your child is ready to help in the kitchen.

2. Don't wait for your children to ask for additional freedoms. Don't make the mistake of holding  out until your children rebel before giving them a later bedtime, increasing their allowance, or permitting them to do things in their own.

Continually evaluate how much freedom you can give your children. Around the time of their birthdays, discuss increasing their allowance and giving them an extra hour before lights go out.

3. Let your children know that if they abuse their freedoms, if their grades suffer, of if they get involved in drugs, drinking, or other irresponsible behavior, the privileges can be revoked.

4. Watch the child carefully who tries to bend the rules. Reward that child with more privileges only after he or she has demonstrated the ability to responsibly handle the freedoms  that they have already been granted.

It takes a lot of love, patience, guidance, and wisdom, and willingness on your part to allow your children to make their own mistakes. But, as your child gains independence, so do you, and your life becomes simpler.

Your Thoughts? Leave your comments below

6 Ways to Improve your Children’s Grades

How does your style as a parent affect the grades your children receive in school? 

Is there anything that you, as the parent, can do to help your children improve their grades? 

The answer to both these questions is a definite yes. According to a Stanford University study by researcher Sanford M. Dornbusch, there is a relationship between parents' actions and their children's school performance. 

Parents can, and do, have an influence on their children's grades. Here's what you can do to help your children get better grades in school.

1.  Be firm, yet encouraging. Set reasonable guidelines for your children and stick to them, but also take the time to explain the reasons for the rules. 

Try to give your children the sense that you have confidence in their capabilities and that you know they are trying. Even if they aren't always trying their hardest, they may put more effort into their work knowing you think so highly of them.

2.   Communicate. Talk with your children in terms they can understand. Explain to them why you think school is important and why they need to do their homework. It may not make mathematics any easier, but at least they know that you value what they are doing. And take time to really listen to what they have to say. 

You can let them know you're listening by giving a one-sentence summary of what they said before going on to what you want to tell them. 

3.  Let them play. Unlikely as it may seem, participation in school sports is associated with better grades. This is because children use play as a way of learning, rather than just as a diversion, as most adults do. They also have more energy than most adults and need a constructive outlet for it.

4.  Praise your children. Low-key support, such as praise and encouragement, works better than material rewards or big, exaggerated emotional responses. Creating rewards and punishments is not effective because children become more concerned with them than with their schoolwork. 

Try to help them understand that though they may not always enjoy what they're doing, it's important that they persevere. There is an exception, however, to low-key support. When a child's grades are very poor, stronger intervention is necessary. 

The school and parents should work together to find out what is causing the low grades and take steps to correct the problem. You must keep in constant contact with the school to demonstrate your concern. Don't wait for them to contact you if you sense a problem.

5.  Don't overreact. If your children bring home poor report cards, don't get visibly upset because this will only worsen the situation. Your distress will upset your children more and this will lead to poorer grades over time. Follow the guidelines listed here.

6.  Don't be too responsible. When all is said and done, you can't control everything that happens to your children. There are many factors beyond your reach that may influence school performance. Your children's friends, teachers and neighborhood all have an impact. 

Don't take too much responsibility for what goes wrong. You have a responsibility to try to help your children do the best they can in school, but you are not responsible for the results.

      What are your strategies for improving your children's grades? Leave your comments below.

Secrets for Making Sure Homework is Done Efficiently and Effectively

Reading is Essential

It's back to school time. So let's talk about homework. Homework is about more than academics. It teaches children how to manage time. 

It reinforces the priority of learning and ensures that home and school are working together toward this goal. It's also your chance to find out what your child is studying in school and observe how he or she works and learns. 

Since children think and learn differently, it helps to customize a homework plan for your child. 

To get you started, here are 6 tips to help you to overcome homework hassles.

1. Consider giving your children an hour or so of relaxing playtime after school before they begin homework. Some children really need this time to unwind after hours of concentrating at school. Yet be sure that the kids know homework must be completed in a timely fashion.

2. Let your children sit at the kitchen table doing homework while you prepare dinner. That way, if they have any questions, you are right there to help them. Another way would be to organize a homework hour after the evening meal. Children can still sit around the kitchen table to do their homework. 

3.Set aside a "family homework hour" when your child sits at the table and does her schoolwork while you also sit at the table and pay bills or catch up on your reading. You're available to help or answer questions.

4. As children become teens, they need a quiet place to study, usually their own room. Some preteens develop more efficient homework habits if given their own private place to study. Other children regard homework as less of a chore and more of a family activity if they're allowed to do homework with you close by to encourage and help. 

5. To complete homework tasks efficiently, store needed supplies in a convenient place, easily accessible to all. Doing math problems is frustrating when it takes fifteen minutes to find a pencil with an eraser (yes, pencils and erasers). Stock up on poster boards, report covers, markers, and crayons to avoid last-minute runs to the store when special projects are due.  

6. If your child is struggling with a certain subject, take a special field trip or turn it into an arts-and-crafts project to make what's in the book applicable to real life. Many children drudge through homework because they don't see its relevance. Help your child make connections between schoolwork and the world around him. 

By regarding homework as a family activity rather than a chore that interferes with quality family time, you reinforce that learning is an expected priority and that it can be fun. It's up to parents to point this out. 

Although some parents complain that their children have too much homework, statistics show that most children spend more time watching noneducational tv or playing video games than doing productive homework.


Leave your comments below.