12 Most Effective Ways for Handling Stress

We all experience it at one time or another; this condition is called stress.  It is perhaps the number one cause of most health problems today including ulcers, coronary heart disease, cancer, high blood pressure, lung problems, accidental injuries, cirrhosis of the liver, and suicide. 

Anti-anxiety drugs and ulcer medications are among the best selling prescription drugs in the United States.

Nevertheless, stress is the process of living. The process of living is the process of having stress imposed on you and reacting to it without allowing it to cause any of the above health problems. 

Now let’s explore the 12 steps for managing stress in your life in a healthy and effective manner.

1. Talk about the problems you are experiencing with friends, loved ones, or a professional. Keeping everything bottled up will only create more problems later on.

2. Exercise. Exercise relieves tension and produces a calming effect.

3. Take a bath. A warm bath can be very relaxing and soothing.

4. Music can be calming. Listen to some soft jazz or instrumental music. Ocean or nature sounds also are a good way to release stress.

5. Healthy meals  can limit your stress.  Try to eat three meals a day (no heavy meals), and although there are health benefits in drinking coffee, keep it to no more than three or four cups a day. 

6. Sleep deprivation can cause stress. Six to seven hours sleep can often make all the difference.

7. Coping with stress can be challenging.  Every day you seem to be pulled in every direction, trying to accommodate others.  So, take care of yourself. You are the thread which holds your family together. If you are stressed, you won’t be much good to anyone.

8. Give yourself a break every now and then.  Buy a new outfit; go to a movie; do something you’ve always wanted to do.  Ask someone dependable to take care of your children for a few hours. Alone time is just as important to you as it is for everyone else. Think of yourself as a gas tank; eventually you will run out of fuel.

9. Laughter is a wonderful release. Releasing tension through laughter is one the best cure-all method for dealing with stress-related issues.

10. Avoid stressful situations whenever possible.  If you are a working single parent, it’s probably not the job but the people who are causing you the most stress. Take everything in stride.

11. If you can’t finish a task, don’t worry about it.  If dinner doesn't turn out as you expected, improvise or pick up something.

12. Life is too short; and stress can reduce it further. Nothing is more important than your health or state of mind. 

How well are you handling stress? Do you think these steps can be helpful? Leave your comments below.  

Why Discipline Works and Punishment Don't

Equal Doses of Love and Discipline

The terms punishment and discipline are often used interchangeably.  However, there are significant distinctions that need to be made.

The importance of understanding and implementing these distinctions when it comes to raising your children is as important as knowing the difference between a thunderstorm with lightning and a gentle rain following a humid summer afternoon.

Punishment implies that you are imposing your will upon the other person.  This type of imposition can range from harsh physical whippings to verbal put-downs and denigrations.

The result is that the child doesn't learn new behaviors, but how to do hide the unacceptable behaviors so as to avoid the reaction from the parent. 

When my brother and I were kids we learned how behave in certain ways when we were in the presence of our grandmother who believed in physical punishment. 

But when we were where she could not see us, we behaved as typically mischievous kids who wanted to do what we wanted to do.

Discipline, on the other hand, implies that you are teaching the child how to behave in a acceptable manner given whatever the situation is.  

It is teaching a child by example; by withholding privileges and explaining why and how to regain the privileges; and, by praising and encouraging the child's efforts.  

When you punish your child you engender fear and resentment.  And, when the child is old enough you will get resistance and rebellion, or even worse, a runaway.  

What you are not likely to get is a child who has learned how to behave appropriately in social situations and able to make the right choices when the need is presented.

A disciplined child is one who is likely to make the right choices when temptation occurs; one who has learned how to handle different situations without much uncertainty, and, one who can prioritize his actions.

Take time to discipline your child and stop using punishment.  Punishing a child may make you feel powerful, but it is not beneficial to your child.  

Discipline your child properly and you'll have a child that you'll be proud of and one who will grow up into a strong, self-reliant adult.

That's what you want isn't it?

Leave your comments below.

How to Develop and Maintain a Close Relationship with Your Children

Keep Your Relationship Strong

  You naturally have a close relationship        with your children when they are in              their infancy because you have to                  constantly meet  their needs. 

   They still have needs, and you must remain the central factor in meeting their need for love and belonging, otherwise they will seek it elsewhere.   

   Raising children is a creative endeavor, an art rather than a science, and the quality of your relationship with your children is the key. 

Consider these 8 Ways to Develop and Maintain a close relationship with your children:

  1. Tell your kids you love them. 

   Never pass up an opportunity to tell your child you love him. It gets harder as he gets older and begins naturally to pull away, but continue to tell him you love him, and sneak in a kiss and a hug whenever you can. 

Don't get discouraged when he doesn't reciprocate. It's his job to establish his independence - and to appear not to want your affection - but it's your job to continue to be there for him, loving him all the while. 

2.Show your kids you love them. 

   Spend time with them each day, give them hugs and kisses, listen to their stories, play games with them even their computer games as they get older. 

   Go to their school conferences and concerts, to their baseball games, and applaud their performances in school plays. 

3.Accept your children for who they are. 

   Much of our children's character is beyond your control. What you can control is how you deal them and what you say. Encourage your kids' special interests and strengths. 

   Don't try to make them into something they aren't - your son may never be the great sports star or your daughter may never become a medical doctor, but still they may fulfill their potential in their chosen profession.   

4.Love your children unconditionally. 

   This means you love them no matter what. It doesn't mean you can't get upset with them, it just means you can't punish them by withholding your love when you're angry.  Furthermore, eliminate physical punishment altogether.

5.When you get angry with your child, address the issue, not the character. 

   Even though he's done something wrong, that doesn’t make him a bad person. 

   Phrases that reinforce this idea are "I love you very much, but I don't like what you've done," or "I'm disappointed in your behavior." 

   Never say "What's wrong with you?" or "How can you be so stupid?" Communicate your displeasure. Be firm about your rules, but never disparage his character. 

6. Stay attuned to your child's problems and needs. 

    Strive to simplify your life. Keep in mind that one of the major reasons to keep life simple is so you'll be able to stay connected with your children. 

   By doing so, you'll under­stand their normal ups and downs, so that when they have a problem you'll be able to see the change in their behavior and help them to deal with it. 

7.Find a mutual interest. 

   As children grow up, they grow away from us as well. You can't force them to stay close, but find things to do together that will encourage a continued intimacy. 

   This is especially important with teenagers - they’ll become strangers, and can potentially get in trouble, if you don't find something you can do together. 

The earlier you establish the practice of doing things with your kids, the easier it will be to continue to be a part of their lives as they get older. 

   And the more a part of your teenager's life, the more opportunities there are to talk about serious issues such as smoking, drinking, drugs, and sex. 

8.Acknowledge their accomplishments. 

   Tell your kids how proud you are of them. Let them know you notice their efforts, no matter how small - from dressing on their own, picking up their toys, or from taking a phone message accurately, to improving their grades. 

Not only does this help to establish a bond between you and lets them know you're paying attention, but it gives them something to live up to. Never break your bond with your child. 

Would you like to add to these ways? Leave your comments below.