Single Parent Strategies For Dealing With Stress

Feeling very stressed about finances and bad relationships are common in these times. And, while managing your children's behaviors can be stressful in and of itself, to combine it with these matters can push you over the edge. The following strategies can help lead you to a greater sense of peace, and to handle your parental role more effectively.

Here are some questions to ask yourself when you begin to feel the stress of being uptight with your children.

1. Is it so important that the children always do things my way?
2. Can I let the children have it their own way sometimes?
3. Do I really take enough time to try to understand what the children are saying to me?
4. Do I really know what the children want and need from me?
5 .Is what I say or tell them to do really clear to them?
6. How often do I stop and listen - letting the children tell me what they think and feel - simply because they need to talk to me?
7. After I've lost control, how do I really feel about myself?
8. Can I really "make it up" to them?
9. Am I really taking my problems out on them?
10. How would I feel if someone said or did the same thing to me?

Some Stress and Tension Relievers

1. Count to 10, put the child in a safe area (crib, playpen, childproof room) and go to another room or outside for a few minutes.
2. Go into another room, close the door, then take 10 minutes to read, meditate, or do whatever relaxes you best.
3. Lie on the floor with your feet up on a chair; place a cool wash cloth on your face; and think of the most peaceful scene you can imagine. Stay there for 5 minutes.
4. Tell your children exactly what is making you tense. Be really specific about what behavior needs to be changed in order to reduce your stress level.
5. After you've put the children down for a nap, forget what you "should" be doing. Take some time for yourself to relax - sleep, read, listen to music, take a bath - whatever makes you feel fresh again.
6. Designate a corner, chair or some quiet spot as a "time-out" place where you can go when you feel like losing your temper. Designate a separate one for your children. It gives both of you a few minutes to calm down, and it tells the other person that you are getting tense.
7. Save a special, quiet plaything to be used only at certain times. It will be a treat for your children, and will provide some quiet time for you.

When things are going well, pass out rewards.

1. Compliment and reward the children for the good things, such as being quiet, not fighting, not whining, cleaning up.
2. Let the children know when their behavior is making you happy.
3. Hug the children and say "I love you."
4. Say "thanks" for small favors.
5. Treat the children and yourself to something special for doing so well.

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How all Single Parents can Manage Time for Personal Growth and Productivity

As a single parent who solely has to meet the needs of your children the three culprits: procrastinations, interruptions, and distractions has to be identified and managed otherwise they will destroy your personal development and productivity efforts.

Procrastinations often arise because psychologically you don't want to do the task and consequently you keep putting it off. 

You either perceive the task as being too difficult, too aggravating, too provoking or all three and try to avoid doing it. However, avoidance is not the solution and the longer you put it off, the more anxious you will become. 

The solution is psychological in nature. You need to relax, visualize the most positive and constructive outcome you can, and then focus on the steps necessary to make the outcome a reality. Take the steps and then be pleasantly surprised at what happens.

Interruptions can be phone calls, someone wanting to visit, or any unanticipated event. Interruptions, however, can be prevented. If you're working at home consider structuring your day and vow to stick to your structure.

Break your day down into time/task segments. For example, if according to your body clock, you are typically alert and do your best mentally challenging work in the morning do it even if you work outside your home.Then when your children come home from school you have the energy and composure to make sure that they adhere to the structure that you have set.

Allow time in the evening to have dinner with your children, helping them with their homework, and listening to their concerns. Afterwards engage in an activity that is personally satisfying and relaxing. Let your children know that you will be setting this time aside for yourself.

Distractions are the result of an undisciplined mind. Distractions principally happen as a matter of choice. You can choose to dwell on the argument you had with a friend or an acquaintance or you can choose to be distracted by unexpected events  instead of focusing on your tasks. The choice is yours.

While procrastinations are also a matter of choice, distractions are even more so. Procrastinations might indeed be associated with having to deal with an unsavory experience such as having to discontinue a relationship, reveal some other type of bad news to someone, or just doing something you just don't want to do but has to be done. 

Distractions on the other hand tend to result from an idle mind - a mind without a focus. Choosing to focus and act on constructive tasks with a strong desire to do so until you complete them eliminates distractions.

Your personal development as well as your productivity depends upon you clearly identifying these three culprits and taking the steps to eliminate them. 

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10 Tips For Staying Mentally Healthy for All Single Parents

Enjoying mental health means having a sense of well-being, being able to function during everyday life and feeling confident to rise to a challenge when the opportunity arises. 

Just like your physical health, there are actions you can take to increase your mental health. Now, boost your well-being and stay mentally healthy by following these 10 Tips for Staying Mentally Healthy:

1. Connect with others. 
Develop and maintain strong relationships with people around you who will support and enrich your life. The quality of your personal relationships has a great effect on your well-being. Putting time and effort into building strong relationships can bring great rewards.

2.   Take time to have fun. 

Set aside time for activities, hobbies and projects you enjoy. Let yourself be spontaneous and creative when the urge takes you. Do a crossword puzzle; take a walk in your local park; read a book; draw pictures with your kids; play with your pets - do whatever you like.

3.  Participate and share interests. 
Join a club or group of people who share your interests. Being part of a group of people with a common interest provides a sense of belonging and is good for your mental health. Join a  a dance class; a theater group; or a book club.

4. Contribute to your community. 
Volunteer your time for a cause or issue that you care about and get your children involved. Help out a neighbor, work in a community garden, or do something nice for a trend. There are many great ways to contribute that can help you feel good about yourself and your place in the world. An effort to improve the lives of others is sure to improve your life too.

5.  Take Care of Yourself
Be active and eat well - these help maintain a healthy body. Physical and mental health are closely linked; it's easier to feel good about life if your body feels good. You don't have to go to the gym to exercise - gardening, vacuuming, and dancing all count. Combine physical activity with a balanced diet to nourish your body and mind and keep you feeling good, inside and out.

6. Challenge yourself. 
Learn a new skill or take on a challenge to meet a goal. You could take on something different at work; commit to a fitness goal or learn to cook a new recipe. Learning improves your mental fitness, while striving to meet your own goals builds skills and confidence and gives you a sense of progress and achievement.

7. Deal with stress. 
Be aware of what triggers your stress and how you react. You may be able to avoid some of the triggers and learn to prepare for or manage others. Stress is a part of life and affects people in different ways. It only becomes a problem when it makes you feel uncomfortable or distressed. A balanced lifestyle can help you manage stress better. If you have trouble winding down, you may find that relaxation breathing or meditation can help.

8.    Rest and refresh. 
Get adequate sleep. Go to bed at a regular time each day and practice good habits to get better sleep. Sleep restores both your mind and body. However, feelings of fatigue can still set in if you feel constantly rushed and overwhelmed when you are awake. Allow yourself some unfocused time each day to refresh. For example, let your mind wander or just daydream for a while. It's OK to add 'do nothing' to your to-do list!

9. Notice the here and now. 
Take a moment to notice each of your senses each day. Simply be in the moment - feel the sun and wind on your face and notice the air you are breathing. It's easy to be caught up thinking about the past or planning for the future instead of experiencing the present. Practicing mindfulness, by focusing your attention on being in the moment, is a good way to do this. Making a conscious effort to be aware of your inner and outer world is important for your mental health.

10.  Ask for help. 
This can be as simple as speaking to your doctor or your friend about where to find a counselor or community mental health service. The perfect, worry-free life does not exist. Everyone's life journey has bumps and the people around you can help. If you don't get the help you need first off, keep asking until you do.

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