Stess can be a Killer. Here are 3 Ways to Superbly Manage it

Stress is to be expected and embraced.

Stress is normal. Everyone feels stress related to work, relationships, choices, decisions, your future and more. 

Stress affects everyone everyday and for the most part, stress offers the push we need to respond to a pressing situation.

Because it offers the aforementioned push, stress can be positive. You need a certain amount of stress to perform best at work. 

The key to stress management is to determine the right amount of stress that will give you energy, ambition, and enthusiasm, versus the wrong amount which can harm your health and well being. 

Positive stress is a motivator, challenging you to act in creative and resourceful ways. Here are the 3 Ways to Superbly Manage It. 
 
1. Manage stress for personal benefit.
Acknowledge that stress is good and make stress your friend. Based upon the body's natural fight or flight response, that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. A professional sports player is never totally relaxed before a big game. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts.

2. Know that there is no life without stress.
Stress is a part of life in both small and large amounts. It comes with all of life's daily hassles and irritations such as traffic jams, long lines in the stores, dealing with a demanding boss, and arguing with a spouse or disciplining your child. 

Stress also comes with crises and life changing events such as illness, marriage problems, financial difficulties, divorce or death. All these events force you to adjust, whether you are prepared or not.

3. Don't hesitate to get help when needed. 
If stress is not managed properly, the constant and cumulative impact of stressors, both small and large, adds up to a big impact. Don't hesitate to consider counseling. 

It's not a sign of weakness to get help, rather it's a sign of a desire for personal growth and an increased capacity to cope with life's circumstances.

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6 Positive Ways to Survive Your Teenager

Every stage of life carries with it certain tasks of emotional development and adolescence is no exception.

Adolescence is a major developmental bridge lasting from ages 13 and 18 and can be an extremely stressful time, especially for a single parent. 

During this developmental period, adolescents have the following tasks to accomplish: establish their own identity; give up childhood dependency; develop their own values; deal constructively with authority; learn to deal with the opposite sex; and, handle their rampant physical and emotional changes. All this, while on the surface, rejecting their parents.

Recent research, however, indicates that teenagers learn to simulate the parents values more than they do their friends.

Although this may be surprising, it should also be viewed as helpful. The research indicates that the enduring values of their parent are in fact transmitted.

So then as a single parent you should take a look at what you can do to more positively influence your teenagers and get through these often tumultuous years with less stress.

Here then are 6 Positive Ways to Survive Your Teenager:
1. Don't fail their test of your love, if you must withhold, withhold your approval, not your love.
2. Don't insist on intimacy. Communication comes in many forms. if you are fortunate enough to have an adolescent who shares his or her feelings, that's great. If not, don't force it.
3. Be sure your teenager has some reasonable amount of privacy.
4. Set parental limits. Make your standards and expectations very clear, but not excessive.       Excessiveness invites rebellion.
5. Take their problems very seriously no matter how small they may seem.
6. Finally, like everything else in life, realize that adolescence like everything else will pass. Keep your sense of humor and learn how to laugh at what is often only a temporary difficulty.

On the other hand, there are some indicators of genuine difficulty in a teenager's life such as: schoolwork becomes a significant problem:

• there is persistent fighting and arguing at home;
• physical complaints, anxiety, and depression of a chronic nature;
• there is significant difficulty in your child's social life such that she begins to avoid friends and isolate from others;
• and, any self-destructive behavior, sexual promiscuity, drug use or abuse. Moreover, any mention of suicide should be taken seriously.

When professional help is recommended, often I will suggest family-oriented therapy, which involves to one degree or another the entire family.

While at times teenagers do need their own individual counseling, time spent working with the entire family can be particularly helpful to everyone involved. Call (773) 614-3201 for an appointment or for consultation.


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6 Key Reasons Why Children Misbehave and What to do About It

You need to recognize that the negative behavior accompanying certain stages is just a small part of the total child.

It should not become the main focus nor be pushed into the lime light. Rather, it should be addressed with love, understanding,  and effective discipline.

Now, here are the 6 Key Reasons Why Children Misbehave:

1. Hungry, tired, or sick. At times they misbehave just because they are hungry, tired, or sick.

2. Uninformed about wrong behavior. They were never told that a certain behavior was wrong.

3. Anger. Children may become angry when they don’t get what they want. If you give in to angry demands, your child learns that anger "works" and will continue to use it.

4. Fear. Children may be afraid of many things  (darkness, new people, failing in school, losing their parent's love etc.) Sometimes their actions are misinterpreted as deliberate misbehavior.

5. Jealousy. Children may be jealous of a new baby or a brothers' or sisters' accomplishments. They may use misbehavior to get attention.

6. Hurt. Feelings of hurt or disappointment can linger for a long time. Children may seek revenge against people they feel let them down.

Understanding the cause of misbehavior can help you choose an effective method of changing the behavior. 

Never give in to  inconsiderate behavior. When you give in to inconsiderate behavior, children tend to repeat the misbehavior. In order to break negative patterns you must learn to discipline effectively. 

You may also like 9 Ways to Discipline  Effectively. 

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