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| Keep Your Relationship Strong |
They still have needs, and you must remain the central factor in meeting their
need for love and belonging, otherwise they will seek it elsewhere.
Raising children is a creative endeavor,
an art rather than a science, and the quality of your relationship with your
children is the key.
Consider these 8 Ways to Develop and Maintain a close relationship with your children:
1. Tell your kids you
love them.
Never pass up an opportunity to tell your child you love him. It gets harder as
he gets older and begins naturally to pull away, but continue to tell him you
love him, and sneak in a kiss and a hug whenever you can.
Don't get discouraged when he doesn't reciprocate. It's his job to establish his independence - and to appear not to want your affection - but it's your job to continue to be there for him, loving him all the while.
2.Show your kids you love them.
Spend time with them each day, give them hugs and kisses,
listen to their stories, play games with them even their computer games as they
get older.
Go to their school conferences and concerts, to their baseball
games, and applaud their performances in school plays.
3.Accept your children for who they are.
Much
of our children's character is beyond your control. What you can control is how
you deal them and what you say. Encourage your kids' special interests and
strengths.
Don't try to make them into something they aren't - your son may
never be the great sports star or your daughter may never become a medical
doctor, but still they may fulfill their potential in their chosen profession.
4.Love your children unconditionally.
This
means you love them no matter what. It doesn't mean you can't get upset with
them, it just means you can't punish them by withholding your love when you're
angry. Furthermore, eliminate
physical punishment altogether.
5.When you get angry with your child, address the issue, not the character.
Even
though he's done something wrong, that doesn’t make him a bad person.
Phrases
that reinforce this idea are "I love you very much, but I don't like what
you've done," or "I'm disappointed in your behavior."
Never say
"What's wrong with you?" or "How can you be so stupid?"
Communicate your displeasure. Be firm about your rules, but never disparage his
character.
6. Stay attuned to your child's problems and needs.
Strive to simplify your life. Keep in mind that one of the major reasons to
keep life simple is so you'll be able to stay connected with your children.
By
doing so, you'll understand their normal ups and downs, so that when they have
a problem you'll be able to see the change in their behavior and help them to
deal with it.
7.Find a mutual interest.
As children grow up, they grow away from us as well. You
can't force them to stay close, but find things to do together that will
encourage a continued intimacy.
This is especially important with
teenagers - they’ll become strangers, and can potentially get in trouble, if
you don't find something you can do together.
The earlier you establish the practice of doing things with your kids, the easier it will be to continue to be a part of their lives as they get older.
And the more a part of your
teenager's life, the more opportunities there are to talk about
serious issues such as smoking, drinking, drugs, and sex.
8.Acknowledge their accomplishments.
Tell
your kids how proud you are of them. Let them know you notice their efforts, no
matter how small - from dressing on their own, picking up their toys, or from
taking a phone message accurately, to improving their grades.
Not only does this help to establish a bond between you and lets them know you're paying attention, but it gives them something to live up to. Never break your bond with your child.
Would you like to add to these ways? Leave your comments below.
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