Single Parent Guide for Building Your Child's Independence

Your challenge is a parent is twofold. You have to prepare your child to handle life situations as they arise. 

And, you have to learn to recognize when your child is ready for new freedoms, and be willing to grant them.

Understand and teach your children that some failure is inevitable. Treat any setback as a learning experience – – for you and for them.

Here are 4 ways to build your child's independence.

1. Watch for readiness and respond to the signs you see and hear. If your child is asking about letters, then you child is ready to learn the alphabet. If your child is carefully watching you prepare dinner, then your child is ready to help in the kitchen.

2. Don't wait for your children to ask for additional freedoms. Don't make the mistake of holding  out until your children rebel before giving them a later bedtime, increasing their allowance, or permitting them to do things in their own.

Continually evaluate how much freedom you can give your children. Around the time of their birthdays, discuss increasing their allowance and giving them an extra hour before lights go out.

3. Let your children know that if they abuse their freedoms, if their grades suffer, of if they get involved in drugs, drinking, or other irresponsible behavior, the privileges can be revoked.

4. Watch the child carefully who tries to bend the rules. Reward that child with more privileges only after he or she has demonstrated the ability to responsibly handle the freedoms  that they have already been granted.

It takes a lot of love, patience, guidance, and wisdom, and willingness on your part to allow your children to make their own mistakes. But, as your child gains independence, so do you, and your life becomes simpler.

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