9 Superb Ways to Effectively Discipline your Child

Only the term discipline will be used here, I do not believe that punishment should ever be used in any attempt to manage children's behavior. 

The goal of all disciplinary strategies is to encourages positive behavior. 

Punishment breeds resentment and when the child gets older-- rebellion or even running away may happen. 

Consider these 9 Ways to Discipline Effectively:

1. Give children love. All children need to know they are loved. Younger children especially need the reassurance of hugs, kisses, smiles, and praise. Immediate praise encourages children to repeat positive behavior. 

2. Listen to your children. Adults like attention when they speak, so do children. Listen carefully do (not absentmindedly) to your child. Your child may be flattered by your interest and even try harder to please you. Busy parents need to set aside a special listening time each day for the children (for example while doing the dishes or before bedtime.)

3. Understand your child. Needs and wants change as children grow older. For example young children need to know parents are near. Most teenagers need some privacy as well as regular outings with friends. Listening and  observing carefully will help you deal with these changes.

4. Set limits. Realistic limits are necessary for safety and for the family’s’ happiness. Setting limits involves: Explanation-- Sharing with children the reason for the proposed limits. Discussion-- coming to an agreement on the need for the limits, and ensure that the limits are understood. Repetition – reminding children about limits until self-discipline developed.

Children may test you to see if you’re serious. At other times, they may forget what they are supposed to do. All youngsters need limits on: time (bedtime, curfews); boundaries (you may not know go here and not there); and, behavior (you may do this and not that). Enforce limits firmly and fairly 

5. Give rewards. To help establish what is desired, give praise properly every time your child responds appropriately. Younger children love smiles, hugs, kisses, and thank you’s. Older children respond to praise, special privileges, etc. (use material rewards sparingly.)

6. Promote independence. When children understand and agree to limits, they are learning to set their own. To promote independence allow your child to share in decisions. As he or she grows older, give increased responsibility for setting limits. Provide encouragement and comfort whenever your child experiences failure.

7. Discuss emotions. Let your child know you understand that he or she is angry and frustrated and that it's okay to feel that way. Let your child know your feelings, too. Eventually your child will learn to talk about feelings – instead of misbehaving.

8. Promote responsibility. Give children jobs to do at home. Even very young children can put away their toys and clothes. To encourage responsibility, discuss what needs to be done; assign jobs to each child (rotate chores for fairness); set time limits for completing jobs; and, check to make sure jobs are done. Praise children for completing tasks to help them develop their confidence.

9. Set a good example. Children learn from watching others. If you want them to be on time, you should be also. If you want them to pick up their clothes, you should pick up your own. If you want them to speak softly, so should you. If you want them to be polite, you should use "please", "thank you", etc., when talking with your children and others. You want them to stick to limits, you should set your own limits and stick to them.

            Do you accept the distinction between discipline and                punishment?  Leave your comments below. 

How Children Learn Social Skills

Children are much more comfortable when they know the guide rules for handling the social amenities. 

It is no more fun for a child to be introduced to a strange adult and have no idea what to say or do than it is for a grownup to go to a formal dinner and have no idea what fork to use.


What are Social Skills
As children grow older, they acquire a growing repertoire of social skills -- strategies used to interact effectively with others. Yet children vary considerably in their social competence. 

Some are courteous, some know how to initiate and sustain conversation, and regularly cooperate and share with peers, others are less skilled; they may be anxious and uncertain in social situations and keep to themselves, or they may shout, call names, use physical aggression, and in other ways alienate their age mates. 

Throughout their development, young people’s social skills affect the number and quality of their friendships.

Ways Children Acquire Social Skills
Children acquire social skills, equally as much from their interactions with their peers as from adults. 

They are likely to discover through trial and error, which strategies work and which do not, and later to reflect consciously on what they have learned. 

When children can’t resolve conflicts directly, the situation may quickly deteriorate. An example would be when preschoolers engage in fantasy play they must continuously communicate, negotiate, and compromise regarding the course of events – whose going to play the mother, who’s going to play the father, who’s going to play the child, etc.

Children also learn social skills by observing and experiencing the behavior of those around them. For instance, you may be intentionally or unintentionally model specific interpersonal styles – – upbeat, agreeable, and respectful of others rights and needs, or on the contrary, hostile and aggressive. So be aware.

Role of the Family
In addition to the acquisition of social skills, the knowledge of specific subject areas and acquisition of status for acceptable behavior are also responsive to family  influences. 

Families should provide a rich, physical, social, and intellectual environment in which children can explore physical phenomena, exchange ideas, and encountered challenging concepts.

What do you think. Leave your comments below.

Give Chores Based on Child's Age and Personality

Get your children involved in household chores beginning in the preschool years. 

Expecting children to be responsible for certain tasks helps your children to believe in themselves.

Now, review this list below, consider your child's age and personality, and select chores that are appropriate for your children. 

Preschoolers can handle one or two chores. As they gets older and more capable, they can handle a larger quantity of chores as well as those that are more complex.

Ages 2 to 3: Put toys away, fill pet's food dish, put clothes in hamper, wipe up spills, dust, pile magazines, choose clothes and dress self.

Ages 4 to 5: Above, plus, make own bed, empty wastebaskets, bring in mail or newspaper, clip weeds, use hand-held vacuum to pick up crumbs, water flowers, place plastic dishes in sink, and fix bowl of cereal.

Ages 6 to 7: Above, plus, sort laundry, sweep floors, handle personal hygiene, set and clear table, make and pack lunch, rake leaves, keep bedroom tidy, pour own drinks, answer telephone.

Ages 8 to 9: Above, plus, put away groceries, vacuum, help make dinner, make snacks, wash table after meals, put away own laundry, sew buttons, run own bath, make own vegetables, cook simple food (such as toast), mop floor, take pet for a walk, pack own suitcase.

Ages 10 and up: Above, plus, unload dishwasher, fold laundry, clean bathroom, wash windows, cook simple meal with supervision, iron clothes, do laundry, babysit younger siblings, mow lawn, clean kitchen, clean oven, change bed, make cookies or cake from box mix, have neighborhood job such as yard work or shoveling snow.

What importance do you place on chores? Leave your comments below and don't forget to Share It.