How Children Learn Social Skills

Children are much more comfortable when they know the guide rules for handling the social amenities. 

It is no more fun for a child to be introduced to a strange adult and have no idea what to say or do than it is for a grownup to go to a formal dinner and have no idea what fork to use.


What are Social Skills
As children grow older, they acquire a growing repertoire of social skills -- strategies used to interact effectively with others. Yet children vary considerably in their social competence. 

Some are courteous, some know how to initiate and sustain conversation, and regularly cooperate and share with peers, others are less skilled; they may be anxious and uncertain in social situations and keep to themselves, or they may shout, call names, use physical aggression, and in other ways alienate their age mates. 

Throughout their development, young people’s social skills affect the number and quality of their friendships.

Ways Children Acquire Social Skills
Children acquire social skills, equally as much from their interactions with their peers as from adults. 

They are likely to discover through trial and error, which strategies work and which do not, and later to reflect consciously on what they have learned. 

When children can’t resolve conflicts directly, the situation may quickly deteriorate. An example would be when preschoolers engage in fantasy play they must continuously communicate, negotiate, and compromise regarding the course of events – whose going to play the mother, who’s going to play the father, who’s going to play the child, etc.

Children also learn social skills by observing and experiencing the behavior of those around them. For instance, you may be intentionally or unintentionally model specific interpersonal styles – – upbeat, agreeable, and respectful of others rights and needs, or on the contrary, hostile and aggressive. So be aware.

Role of the Family
In addition to the acquisition of social skills, the knowledge of specific subject areas and acquisition of status for acceptable behavior are also responsive to family  influences. 

Families should provide a rich, physical, social, and intellectual environment in which children can explore physical phenomena, exchange ideas, and encountered challenging concepts.

What do you think. Leave your comments below.

8 Ways to Encourage Your Child's Independence

Children crawl before they walk; walk before they run. One is generally is a precondition for the other. And with each step they take towards more independence, more mastery of the environment, you, the parent take a step away -- each a small separation, a small distancing.

In healthy families, children at an early age, discover through being listened to that what they have to say is important, that their experiences and ideas, and they themselves have worth. 

They are encouraged to think for themselves, express opinions, and make decisions for themselves. Their parents support to stand on their own two feet and do what they think is right. Trusting and gaining confidence in themselves, they develop an inner locus of control.

It's a fine line between wanting your child to head off into the big wide world before they're ready and molly-coddling them.

Here then are 8 ways to encourage your child's independence and foster their self-reliance:

1. Show enthusiasm when your child tries to help, even if it'll take longer. Praise the effort and recognize any task he accomplishes.

2. Help your child make decisions by offering a small choice such as which story to read or what shirt to wear.

3. Give him little responsibilities and gradually increase them based on his capabilities but always within reason, such as putting his clothes in the hamper, putting his toys away, or helping you to get the dinner ready.

4. Praise his ability. This is necessary for a child to believe he's capable of doing things, and that it was his own skill that led to success, rather than luck. For instance, tell him how clever he is for throwing the ball into the hoop, rather than that was lucky.

5. Tempting as it is to say, “I’ll do it,” say ”Let me show you how” instead. That way, your child is learning new skills and not just relying on you to do everything for him.

6. Point out why things are dangerous or unacceptable without belittling the motivation to do things on his own. For example, Having your child use a sharp knife to help with dinner is never a good idea even though your child has seen you use one, showing him how to use a butter knife would be more appropriate.

7. Avoid using the word “no” unless something is dangerous or clearly wrong.

8. Respect a child's feelings and fears. Even if it seems silly to you, ask him why he's afraid and then take time to talk about it.


How much emphasis do you put on encouraging independence in your children?

Leave your comments below. And don't forget to Share It.

Rules for Teaching the ABC’s of Social Skills

My Playmate

Although you have a role to play in teaching social skills to your children, it is often best that you play it unobtrusively. 

In particular, you must guard against embarrassing your children by correcting them too publicly and against labeling them as shy  in ways that may lead them to see themselves in just that way. 

Children, then, acquire social skills not so much from adults than from their interaction with one another. They are likely to discover through trial and error which strategies work and which do not, and later to reflect consciously on what they have learned.                       

Children are much more comfortable when they know the guide rules for handling the social amenities. It’s no more fun for the child to be introduced to a strange adult and have no idea what to say or do than it is for a grown up to go to a formal dinner and have no idea what knife or fork to use.

How do you teach social skills to you children? Leave your thoughts below.

Seven Strategies for Single Parents Raising a Child With ADHD

Raising a child with attention deficit hyperactive disorder( ADHD) is a major challenge for a single parent. According to the Center for Disease and Control, 4.5 million children have been diagnosed with ADHD. These children's behaviors are characterized by a short attention span, difficulty sustaining attention on a consistent basis, susceptibility to distraction by extraneous stimuli and internal thoughts, losing things necessary for tasks, and repeated failure to follow through on instructions. Moreover, two or three times more boys than girls are affected by it. And, there is an average of one child with ADHD in every classroom.

Experts, however, remain unsure of what causes it. Some of the views include: alcohol and drug use by biological parents; chaotic, dangerous households; and family genes.

Exposure to common pesticides is a cause that new research has been revealing. The particular pesticide, an organic-phosphate, is a man-made toxin originally developed for chemical warfare and now used extensively in agriculture. Scientists believe that children exposed to this compound while still in the womb have a higher chance of developing attention problems by age 5.

While it remains a possibility that roughly one million children may be misdiagnosed, it is important for you to be observant of how your child behaves as they progress through their birthdays. For example, if your child is misbehaving or is inattentive, it may be that he is 5 and the other children are 6.

As a single parent who wants your child to realize his highest potential and to become reasonably self-sufficient, here are seven strategies to consider:

1. Learn about ADHD and its causes. The more you know, the more you can help yourself and your child.

2. Praise your child when he or she does well. Build upon your child's abilities, strengths, and talents.

3. Talk with your child's doctor about the types of medication that would help your child as well as the potential side effects of the medication.

4. Be clear, be consistent, and be positive. Provide structure in the home. Set clear rules with your child. Tell your child what he should do, not what he shouldn't do.

5. Pay attention to your child's mental health and your own. Be open to counseling. It can help you deal with the challenges of raising a child with ADHD.

6. Meet with the school and develop an educational plan to address your child's needs. Both you and your child's teachers should get a copy of this plan.

7. Keep in touch with your child's teachers. Tell the teachers how your child is doing at home. Ask how your child is doing in school. Offer support.

Your Thoughts?