For Single Parent Families - Three Steps for Dealing With the Holiday Blues

Holiday blues can easily become a factor in bad economic times for single parent families and for single parents specifically with no spouse to talk to and no one with whom to share enjoyable activities.

Guilt feelings can also arise if you see others buying gifts for their children and you are unable to do so.

Or maybe you're just not be able to buy what you would like your children to have. However, these feelings, especially the blues, need to be identified for what they are - a negative way of thinking about your current situation instead of reframing the situation to your and your children's advantage.

Instead of allowing your children to complain about what other parents are buying their children, as a single parent, take the children aside and make sure they understand the true values of the Holiday Season which includes Christmas and the embarking on a New Year.

1. A first step is to help the children understand that the Christmas Season is not just for giving, but also for receiving. Giving can be demonstrated by getting in contact with elderly family members and neighbors and making their holidays pleasurable by creating simple Christmas cards and sending it to them, offering to go to the store for them or with them, or asking them if they need help in setting up their Christmas tree or decorating their home.
2. A second step is to activate your social support network. If you haven't talked with your friends, relatives, or neighbors in the last two weeks, do so now. Find out what they are doing for the Holidays. Maybe they're going to some parties that you can get invited to.
3. And, the third step is to take some time and identify several low-cost or no-cost fun activities that both you and your children can engage in. In every major city there are several museums and almost every one of them have several free days during the year. Chances are there will be some free days during the Christmas Season. Also consider the local park districts. They are already supported by your taxes and many have activities for both adults and children such as volleyball, basketball, roller skating, and ice skating.

In summary, reframe your thinking about the Holiday Season. View it as a time for both giving and receiving.

Give the little things, a card, a helping hand, a phone call, and receive the thanks and appreciation from those you have given to.

Look for the simple activities that you can enjoy both at home and away with your children. And plan for the coming year. Decide how different you want it to be and begin to make it so.



Share your simple activities that you enjoy at home with your children during the Holidays,
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10 Ways to Read for Personal Growth

If you are like most people you have to read a lot of material, at home or at work, just to keep from getting buried in paper. 

Considering all the reading materials you get and the demands on your time during the  course of a day, if you read all this information word for word, you'll wind up spending all your time reading and not have time for anything else.

These 10 Ways to Read for Personal Growth will help you to experience reading, not as a chore to be put off as long as you can, but as an enjoyable and satisfying skill.

1. Take at least one minute to review the material before reading it. First, skim to get a feel of what the piece contains, then the introductory material, section and chapter titles, index, and any other signposts. Next, treat the body of the text as a series of paragraphs, each paragraph being a self-contained unit with his own message to convey.

2. Read by paragraph. As soon as you have grasped the message, move immediately onto the next paragraph and repeat the process.

3. Become an active, rather than a passive reader. Instead of reading individual words, actively search out the important, descriptive, and meaningful ideas. Don't get bogged down in details. Move rapidly over the material.

4. Develop the knack of concatenation (linking two things together). Stop reading one word at a time and develop the habit of joining several words and repeating them as one unit. Learn to read by thought units rather than by individual words. You should take in between four and six words in a single glance.

5. Don't linger or reread words, phrases, or sentences. As difficult as it may be to break this non-productive habit, doing so will pay tremendous dividends. One way you can do this is to place a small slip of paper over the lines you have just read.

6. If your time permits, read at least one hour every day. Break it up into 20 minute segments, if necessary, and both select your reading materials carefully and read at optimum speed. Get rid of distractions and concentrate on what you are reading.

7. Eliminate poor physical habits such as sounding out the words in silent reading.

8. Watch for the signpost in reading. Signposts are words or phrases which tell you in a split second whether there's going to be an abrupt change in the author's trend of thought or whether, on the contrary, the writer is really going to add more details to what is already been said. 

Some of the common turn about signals are: but, despite, on the contrary, however, nonetheless, yet, and rather. When you see these words you know instantaneously that the author is about to introduce a thought that is in opposition to the one he has just stated.

9. While you shouldn't sacrifice comprehension for speed, make a conscious effort to increase your reading speed. Still, make sure you understand what you are reading.

10.Reinforce what you read. At the earliest opportunity, think back on what you learned in your last reading session. Review the important points and any related information relayed by the author.

To make it easy, here are five questions you can ask yourself about what you read, 
What was the piece about? 
What important information was presented? 
What, if any, opinions did the writer present? 
What is your opinion of the piece? 
Name one element of the piece that makes it stand apart. 

This procedure helps to firmly implant the information in your memory.


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Bad Teaching – Six More Signs and What to do About It - Part 2

As a parent, it is your duty to save your child from bad teaching and bad teachers.

If you live in a large city, teachers are invariably protected by both unions and a dysfunctional and lumbering bureaucracy.

Always keep in mind that the unions are there to protect the interest of the teachers – not your child. The unions are interested in salary increases and retirement benefits for the teachers and protecting them from getting fired. They are not interested in assuring a quality education for your child. You, and you only, as the parent must make sure that your child gets a quality education.

If by examining these next six signs of bad teaching, you determine that your child is being shortchanged and having his or her achievement dampened, you need to take action, perhaps even to the point of getting your child out of that particular school. In a future post, I would tell you what to do get your child out of a bad teacher’s classroom if your child is remaining in the school.

Now, here are the six more signs of bad teaching that I referred to in my previous post:
1. The teacher shows little knowledge of the subject matter that she is supposed to be teaching.
2. The teacher lacks basic academic skills – – that is, she sends home notes with spelling and grammatical errors.
3. The teacher makes little effort to maintain discipline.
4. The teacher doesn't focus on academic goals.
5. The teacher shows no interest in communicating with parents.
6. And, the teacher exhibits unsound character or unprofessional behavior.

Refer to these six signs of bad teaching as well as the seven previous bad teaching signs if you if you intuitively believe that your child is a victim of bad teaching. Keep in mind that both the union and the bureaucracy defends bad teachers and only you as the parent must make sure that your child gets a quality education.


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How to Navigate the Insurance Maze

Having the right type of insurance is a necessity, but one that you may not have given adequate thought to.

As a single parent you intuitively realize that you needs your life covered by life insurance should you experience an untimely death and consequently leave a burden on someone else to raise your children. The main consideration has to be how much life insurance do you need and can you afford it.

Health Insurance
As a working parent, you intuitively realize that you need health insurance to cover both you and your children should a major health incident occur. If your employer provides health insurance which covers you and your children, then it eliminates this concern as long as you are employed. However if you become unemployed, then you have a challenge - COBRA is an option, private health insurance, or even Medicaid if you're in a low income bracket.

Disability Insurance
For working single parents disability insurance has to be a consideration. The premiums are low and it would pay you roughly 60% of your income in benefits, should you become disabled and can't work at your current occupation. However, it is important that your disability insurance provide you benefits should you be unable to work at "any type of occupation".

Property and Casualty Insurance
Property and casualty insurance such as homeowners insurance if you are a homeowner is nearly always mandatory if you have a mortgage. Your mortgage contract require you to have at least a Standard Fire Policy to cover the outstanding balance on your mortgage and will, indeed, allow the mortgage company to place it on your behalf and at your expense, if you don't have a Homeowners' policy. In this instance, your Personal Property will not be covered in a Loss. And, most states have a mandatory requirement that you carry the minimum liability insurance coverage if you drive a car.

There some key considerations that pertains to each type of insurance. With regards to life insurance, in addition to determine how much coverage you need, you need to decide between, term, whole life, or universal life which is a hybrid of term and whole life and provides a flexible premium and can be interest sensitive.

With regards to health insurance you need to decide whether you want a major medical or a hospital indemnity plan and to decide how much of a deductible you will be willing to absorb if you choose a major medical plan. With regards to disability insurance you would need to consider how long a waiting period is acceptable and how long you want to receive benefits.

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3 Essential Things You Need to Know About Depression

Just about everyone gets the blues from time to time - that feeling of sadness or grief that usually results from unpleasant life experiences.

While many people refer to the blues as depression, however, true clinical depression is as different from the blues as pneumonia is from a head cold.

Blues and Depression
The blues is a temporary and usually normal reaction to stressful life situations. Most cases don't involve physical symptoms, loss of self-esteem, or suicidal thoughts, and the negative state usually passes within a few hours or days.

Depression on the other hand, is an intense, pervasive and long-lasting disorder of mood that attacks the body as well as the mind, often resulting in serious problems in work, social, and physical functioning. Unfortunately, some people don't recognize depression for the serious illness it is. They think of it as a personality flaw, a sign of weakness or a character defect.

Three Dynamics of Depression
To go further in depth, depression occurs in at least three different dynamics:

• People in the first category are chronically depressed. Depression is built into them and may be passed from generation to generation.

•  The second dynamic concerns lasting grief that occurs after a severe loss. Its severity is entirely subjective but might occur with the loss of a child, spouse, or loved one, an amputation, mastectomy, a sizable career setback, or loss of functioning brought about by disease or trauma.

•  The third dynamic involves loss accompanied by anger. People who have unresolved issues with a departed loved one often do not know that they are angry. This despair can set in after messy divorces or after a close relative or friend passes away. Since they are not able to deal with these problems by interacting with the object of their anger, they take their antagonism out on themselves instead.

 Loss is the common element in all three dynamics. It could be a loss of time, an object, an idealization of an object, or a person.

Symptoms of Depression
Symptoms of depression often include disturbances with sleep, appetite and body weight, energy, concentration, and sexual functioning. There is frequently excessive guilt, feelings of worthlessness, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, and, in severe cases, thoughts of or attempts at suicide.

Some depressions are the result of a chemical imbalance and may only be treated by anti­depressant medication, some require psychotherapy, and still others a combination of methods.

Chronic Depression
Those with chronic depression can't be helped except by antidepressants. In these cases, psychotherapy may be of little help and a poor use of time and money. Time helps a person who has suffered a severe loss as well as an involved other person who listens to the aggrieved as he or she gives words to the pain. This does not necessarily have to be a therapist, but if there is not a strong support system, treatment is very necessary. Finally, only a strong guide can help people whose loss is accompanied with anger move toward slow recognition and safe expression of their real feelings. This is usually the only path out of melancholy.

Good News About Depression
The good news is that more than eighty percent of depression sufferers can be treated successfully. If you or someone you care about is depressed, seek help now by contacting a qualified mental health specialist.

What is your views about depression? Do you accept the difference between having the blues and experiencing depression?

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Do You Have High Blood Pressure? Here Are 15 Natural Ways to Prevent or Reduce It

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As the wise saying goes, the best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. Doctor Diet is the focus of this article -- specifically, Doctor Diet in reference to preventing or reducing high blood pressure.

Being a vegetarian for forty-six years and realizing the health benefits from such a life style has helped to make me keenly aware of this serious problem many Americans are experiencing.

In fact, in this country approximately 50 million Americans are currently afflicted with it. Also, it is important to note that one out of every three Americans have a condition that leads to high blood pressure or hypertension and is not aware of it.

You need to get your blood pressure checked regularly and take specific action to prevent hypertension from becoming a factor in your life.

Here are 15 Natural Ways to Prevent or Reduce High Blood Pressure:
1. Eliminate refined, sugary, fried, and fatty foods.
2. Eat foods that are rich in fiber such as vegetables and whole grains.
3. Compute your Body Mass Index by multiplying the weight in pounds by 703; and then divide by your height in inches; then again by your height in inches. You want to stay between 18.5 and 24.9.
4. Take a daily multiple multivitamin to make sure that you're getting the basics.
5. Potassium is crucial. It is found in many fruits, vegetables, dairy foods, and supplements.
6. Emphasize foods with Vitamin C. The less vitamin C in the blood, the higher the blood pressure in hypertensive patients.
7. Boost your bioflavonoids by consuming more fruits, vegetables, and supplement. Bioflavonoids enhance the effect of vitamin C.
8. Hypertensive patients are usually low in calcium. Drink milk and take calcium supplements. Eat more broccoli, spinach, and tofu.
9. When choosing supplements, make sure you include vitamin E. It magnifies Vitamin Cs' blood pressure lowering effect.
10. Include whole oats in your diet more often. Oats lower hypertension.
11. In choosing your spices, go for basil, black pepper, cinnamon, chili powder, cloves, curry, fennel, horseradish, Marjoram, nutmeg, oregano, rosemary, sage, tarragon, and thyme. Some of these antioxidants may directly lower blood pressure and all can substitute for salt.
12. Go to your health food store and get grape seed extract.
13. Get a restful sleep every night. It doesn't matter whether it's four hours, six hours, or eight hours. Just make sure that you are relaxed and mentally at ease.
14. Keep your weight down. A 10% reduction in total body weight will sometimes lower blood pressure.
15. Flat out eliminate all forms of tobacco.

While owning a good health care plan is both important and necessary, choosing Doctor Diet and natural ways to prevent or reduce high blood pressure is equally as important. Choose a good health care plan and choose the natural ways.


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What You Need to Know When Shopping for Health Insurance

Money can't buy health, but it can certainly make it easier to stay healthy. As a single parent, for the sake of your children, and yourself, you need to stay healthy.  Moreover, if you have been sick or injured you know that it's important to have the right kind of health insurance at the right price. To get to this point, you need to ask the right questions and get the right answers. There is a lot to learn when shopping for health insurance and you need the coverage clearly explained to you.

Health insurance coverage refers to a collection of insurance policies and government programs which pays for a range of costs from doctors and hospitals to more specific needs, such as for long-term care or disability expenses.

This type of policy doesn't just cover medical expenses, it can also provide payment of benefits for the loss of income and or the medical expenses arising from illness or injury. Consequently, you may find health insurance under another name such as Accident and Health insurance. The different kinds of policies vary according to the methods of underwriting, the type of insurers, types of benefits and services provided, types of losses covered, and amount of benefits available.

So, what about health insurance. In choosing the right type of policy for yourself, begin with knowing some of the key common terminology. Here are three terms and their definitions:

Benefit Period - the benefit period defines the period during which the insured is eligible for benefits. Usually a 90 day benefit starts with each illness and commences the day the insured is admitted to a hospital and ends when the insured has not been hospitalized for a period of 60 consecutive days.

Co-insurance - the co-insurance is the cost percentage of the medical bills the insured is expected to pay. Co-insurance usually constitutes a fixed percentage of the total cost of your medical covers covered by the plan. If a health plan pays 80% every doctor's bill, the remaining 20% is co-insurance.

Deductible - the deductible is the sum of money you must pay out-of-pocket before a health care plan reimburses a percentage of additional covered medical expenses.

Elimination Period - the elimination period means the period of time, usually is expressed in days or months, at the beginning of the confinement in a long-term care facility, during which no benefits are payable.

After making yourself familiar with some of the basic terminology, consider how you will use your policy. If you practice good health principles - eating healthy, finding time for exercising, managing stress effectively, and getting proper rest - you may properly choose a health care policy with a high deductible and a large co-insurance feature to save money. You will pay more out-of-pocket for an annual checkup and tests, but you need health insurance and will save money in the long run.

Also when shopping for health insurance, consider buying Accident and Critical Illness Insurance. The premiums for these plans are low and will compensate for the high deductible and co-insurance you may have chosen and also give you the protection you need if a catastrophic event occurs.

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Retirement Considerations for Single Parents

 
In 1983, the retirement age for Social Security was changed by Congress from 65 to 67 beginning in the year 2000. It was designed to go up steadily so that everyone born in 1943 will have their retirement age increased to 66. It will then remain at 66 for 12 years and then steadily increase to age 67 for workers born after 1959.

Therefore, if you are a single parent born in 1943 or thereafter, your retirement age will be either 66 or 67.

However, this retirement age only pertain to those whose retirement funds are from the Social Security system therefore highlighting the unequal basis of the retirement system in this country. More on this later. In considering your retirement, if you are looking forward to receiving Social Security funds when you retire, realize that there are no funds in the Social Security "lockbox". The fact is there is no "lockbox". It is a complete fiction. Every dollar taken from your salary in FICA taxes is sent to the General Fund and is spent by the politicians as fast it comes in. The Social Security is currently sending out more money than it's taking in. It is hemorrhaging and soon will be completely bankrupt.

It is important therefore as a single parent and the sole support for your children and yourself that you seriously consider and then act on this matter.

Here are three strategies to do so:
1. Let your Senators, Representative, and President know that you realize that the Social Security will soon be bankrupt and that you no longer want to participate in it -- that you want equality in the retirement system and to own your retirement plan rather than be at the mercy of 535 politicians who can decide much you can receive and when you can receive it.
2. While actively engaging in the political process, you must concurrently study the options for building a substantial fund that can be annuitized, partially or fully, and also provide for your children if you experience an untimely death. Some politicians try to frighten you by saying that by owning your retirement plan, you would irresponsibly invest it in the volatile stock market and when it's time for you to retire, you will not have any money to retire on. This is a fear tactic and need to be rejected.
Look up the retirement plan that your Representatives and Senators have established for themselves. Afterwards, let them know that you want to have the same retirement plan that they have. Keep in mind that not only federal employees, but across the country, county, state and municipal employees often can retire as early as age 55 or even younger with roughly 80% of an average of their last three years of income. Tell them that you want to be able to do the same.
3. Finally, realize that once you own your retirement plan, you may have several options that range from choosing highly risky investments to those with hardly any risk at all. In planning for your retirement, stay away from risky investments. Analyze what the pension funds for public employees and what major insurance companies invest their money in. You will see a wide variety of different investments. However, you will find that a majority of their money will be in one sector primarily, bonds. Become knowledgeable of the different types of bonds, and also consider fixed annuities and the guarantees cash value and self-completing feature of life insurance.


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