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Numerous studies have shown that those adults who feel the
most frustrated by children – – and least competent as parents – – usually have
one thing in common.
They don’t know what behaviors are normal and appropriate for children at different stages of development.
This leads the parent to misinterpret their children’s natural behaviors and to have inappropriate expectations, both for the child and for the parent.
They don’t know what behaviors are normal and appropriate for children at different stages of development.
This leads the parent to misinterpret their children’s natural behaviors and to have inappropriate expectations, both for the child and for the parent.
Behavior as Communication
Understanding child development takes the emphasis away from your child’s character – looking at your child as good or bad.
The emphasis is put on behavior as communication. Discipline is thus seen as problem solving. Your child needs to be helped to learn a more acceptable manner of communication.
Understanding child development takes the emphasis away from your child’s character – looking at your child as good or bad.
The emphasis is put on behavior as communication. Discipline is thus seen as problem solving. Your child needs to be helped to learn a more acceptable manner of communication.
There’s one basic rule you should remember about developmental stages and charts that will save you countless hours of worry. The fact that your child
passes through a particular developmental stage is always more important than the age in which your child does it.
In the long run, it really doesn’t matter whether your child learns to walk at 10 months or 15 months – – as long as he learns how to walk.
In the long run, it really doesn’t matter whether your child learns to walk at 10 months or 15 months – – as long as he learns how to walk.
Your Child's Unique Inner Timetable
Every child has an inner timetable for growth that’s unique to
him. Growth is not a steady upward progression. Instead it is three
steps forward, two back, a run around in circles, and often simply standing still before another leap forward.
Also, gaining a better understanding about how children’s minds work
at different ages will allow you to make more sense of your child’s behaviors. This
understanding can decrease your stress and increase your pleasure from being a parent.
It lessens your frustrations that come from expecting things that a child simply cannot do and incorrectly interpreting your child’s behavior in adult terms.
It lessens your frustrations that come from expecting things that a child simply cannot do and incorrectly interpreting your child’s behavior in adult terms.
Rapid Growth Can Also Be Hard on Your Child
As a parent, understand and accept your child’s more difficult stages as necessary times of growth for your child. Appreciate your fact that your child’s phases are not easy for him to live through either.
Rapid growth times are hard on a child. Perhaps it is a small comfort to know that your child’s harder to-live-with stages do alternate with the calmer times, Count on getting periodic breaks.
As a parent, understand and accept your child’s more difficult stages as necessary times of growth for your child. Appreciate your fact that your child’s phases are not easy for him to live through either.
Rapid growth times are hard on a child. Perhaps it is a small comfort to know that your child’s harder to-live-with stages do alternate with the calmer times, Count on getting periodic breaks.
Information about child development enhances your capacity
to respond appropriately to your children. Informed parents are better equipped
to problem solve, more confident in their decisions, and more likely to respond
sensitively to their children’s developmental needs.
Children who are allowed to develop at their own speed will usually win the race of life.
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