Choosing Between Loneliness or Aloneness as a Single Mom



As a single mom, loneliness has to be coped with properly or it can lead to symptoms related to depression. 

It is faulty relationships, or in this instance, a lack of healthy relationships that lead to those undesirable consequences.

Here are 3 steps you can take right away to deal, with the situation:

1. Stop Being Dependent
However, when you take a closer look at the experience of loneliness, it indicates dependency upon someone to meet your need for enjoyment, fun, and self-fulfillment. 

While it is desirable to have healthy and caring relationships which indeed help your mental health, dependency upon someone else to meet your need for enjoyment, fun, and self-fulfillment may in fact be unhealthy.

In that loneliness is an emotional experience based upon your thinking and perception of the situation, it can be coped with by changing your perception of the situation and then acting upon the changed perception.

It is important to reflect upon the question of, do you really need someone else to find enjoyment in your life? 

2. Do Some Creative Thinking  
Think creatively about activities that you find enjoyable whether it's dancing, going to musical events, going to museums, or whatever and begin going to these events. You will find that these events will meet your criteria for enjoyment and uplift your spirits. 

Not only that, you may meet someone at these events who share your interest in fun and entertainment.


Do some creative thinking about areas in your life that you want to improve. It may be that you are shy speaking in front of groups. If so, joining Toastmasters might be a good idea. You are obligated to make speeches and in turn have them critiqued. Everyone in the group is on the same level. 

It may be that you have always wanted to learn a new dance. Taking a dance class might be a good idea. Again, you are on the same level as everyone else and you are out with others and putting yourself in a position to make new friends.

In addition to this, use your aloneness by pursuing a hobby that is fulfilling, and augments the fun and enjoyment you are experiencing with your outside pursuits. 

I have an acquaintance that enjoys trying out new recipes and inviting people over. I have another acquaintance that knits hats and scarfs and give them away as presents.

3. Follow with Action
Again, the feeling of loneliness is an emotional state. And an emotional state cannot be addressed directly, it has to be addressed by clear thinking followed by action. 

Action which results in a change in behavior with pleasant results will begin to lessen the feeling of loneliness.



What are your thoughts?  Leave them below.

No comments:

Post a Comment