12 Most Effective Ways for Handling Stress

We all experience it at one time or another; this condition is called stress.  It is perhaps the number one cause of most health problems today including ulcers, coronary heart disease, cancer, high blood pressure, lung problems, accidental injuries, cirrhosis of the liver, and suicide. 

Anti-anxiety drugs and ulcer medications are among the best selling prescription drugs in the United States.

Nevertheless, stress is the process of living. The process of living is the process of having stress imposed on you and reacting to it without allowing it to cause any of the above health problems. 

Now let’s explore the 12 steps for managing stress in your life in a healthy and effective manner.

1. Talk about the problems you are experiencing with friends, loved ones, or a professional. Keeping everything bottled up will only create more problems later on.

2. Exercise. Exercise relieves tension and produces a calming effect.

3. Take a bath. A warm bath can be very relaxing and soothing.

4. Music can be calming. Listen to some soft jazz or instrumental music. Ocean or nature sounds also are a good way to release stress.

5. Healthy meals  can limit your stress.  Try to eat three meals a day (no heavy meals), and although there are health benefits in drinking coffee, keep it to no more than three or four cups a day. 

6. Sleep deprivation can cause stress. Six to seven hours sleep can often make all the difference.

7. Coping with stress can be challenging.  Every day you seem to be pulled in every direction, trying to accommodate others.  So, take care of yourself. You are the thread which holds your family together. If you are stressed, you won’t be much good to anyone.

8. Give yourself a break every now and then.  Buy a new outfit; go to a movie; do something you’ve always wanted to do.  Ask someone dependable to take care of your children for a few hours. Alone time is just as important to you as it is for everyone else. Think of yourself as a gas tank; eventually you will run out of fuel.

9. Laughter is a wonderful release. Releasing tension through laughter is one the best cure-all method for dealing with stress-related issues.

10. Avoid stressful situations whenever possible.  If you are a working single parent, it’s probably not the job but the people who are causing you the most stress. Take everything in stride.

11. If you can’t finish a task, don’t worry about it.  If dinner doesn't turn out as you expected, improvise or pick up something.

12. Life is too short; and stress can reduce it further. Nothing is more important than your health or state of mind. 

How well are you handling stress? Do you think these steps can be helpful? Leave your comments below.  

15 Steps to Healthy Male-Female Relationships

As a single parent, if you are in an intense emotional relationship that begins to deteriorate, it can have a devastating effect both on your mental health and on your relationship with your children.

Also, if you are someone who needs that type of relationship to feel personally fulfilled, then you need to take these steps to make sure that it’s a healthy one.

Read these 15 Steps and use what applies to you.

1. Learn about the values and lifestyle of the other person
Your rules of your life are your values. Determine if your values and the other person's are compatible. Ask yourself constantly, "What is the right thing to do?” Consider what changes you would have to make. And, remember that one change makes way for the next and gives you the opportunity to grow.

If you are a woman and are serious about establishing a quality relationship with a man, offer to share his interests, and go with him to places he likes to go. Do it actively and enthusiastically. If you think that the places he likes to go are too way out and would require too much of an adjustment for you, but his other qualities make him worthwhile, then discuss it with him and work out a compromise.

2. Get to know his friends, relatives, and acquaintances.
There is an old saying; by your friends you shall know them. If your man is one who is upwardly mobile, you can quickly tell that by his choice of friends. Look for such qualities as stability, industriousness, self-discipline, and honesty. An upwardly mobile man will immediately demonstrate these qualities.

3. Don't let yourself be swayed by others opinion.
Do not discuss your boyfriend with your female friend. And if you are a man, do not discuss your girlfriend with your male friend. Don't push obligations early and never ask to borrow money even if you really need it and feel certain that she would loan it to you.

4. Clarify sex roles and responsibilities
Eliminate role conflict. Each family, knowingly or unknowingly, maintains a system in which members fulfill certain roles or functions. Family members are most comfortable when these roles are carefully spelled out. Develop clear division of labor and capacity. God made women and men different and we should appreciate and respect the differences instead of trying to act as if there are no differences.

Acquire flexibility to adjust to different sex roles. Each of us in the course of a day, occupy different roles, but not the least in importance are the roles of husband, wife, father, and mother. Seek to grow in the different roles. We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are.

5. Provide mutual support and encouragement in meeting responsibilities. 
We live by encouragement, and we die without it---slowly, sadly, and angrily. Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. Smile and offer a word of optimism and hope. Say "you can do it" when things are tough. No dominant role should be the woman's and no submissive role should be the man's. Each family, knowingly or unknowingly, maintains a system in which members fulfill certain roles or functions. Whenever possible, the man should always be the primary breadwinner.

6. Sex can be a part of your overall relationship, but don't build your relationship solely on it.
If having sex is a part of your relationship and you sincerely desire to make each other happy, then there's no such thing as boring sex. Don't make getting an orgasm the essence of a sexual relationship. Foreplay is whatever makes both individuals look forward to sexual intercourse. Always make time for sex whether it’s in the morning, afternoon, or evening.

7. Be flexible in how you can meet your mate.
Be open to the possibilities of meeting someone any place, anywhere. Every lonely person should remember that meeting a suitable partner to build abiding love and happiness needs only one connection, one meeting, one social function, one planned effort...and any time could be that one time.  Possibilities for contacting potential, romantic-love partners increase proportionately with the number of approaches made towards potential partners.

Don't be turned off by the other's approach. Stop letting age be a factor. Get beyond the superficial. Discover each other's values and interests. Sex can be on the first night, the second night, or any other night. Don't let others determine the quality of your sexual relationship. And, don't discuss your sexual relationship with others.

8. Work on Your own Level of Emotional Maturity.
Strive to become emotionally self-reliant. It is estimated that only about ten percent of the population has developed emotional self-reliance. The ability to think and act independently is the essence of being emotionally self-reliant. It begins when we are determined to do everything we can possibly do for ourselves, emotionally and physically, in preference to seeking someone to do it for us.

9. Balance your relationship with other friends.
Consider this definition of a friend -- a friend is a person who listens attentively while you are saying nothing. Or try this one -- a friend is someone who knows you well and still likes you. Remember who is the most important person in your life, but don't neglect your own personal growth.

10. Dwell on the best qualities in the other person, rather than the worst. 
Accept stress as a normal consequence of being alive, so use it to your advantage. Learn to appreciate your own company. By itself, marriage has little or no relationship to happiness. It is a by-product of a self-reliant, productive, and creative way of life. The individual who has not learned to be happy while single has just as little chance of being happy in marriage.

11. Develop and maintain your interests and hobbies, but don't let it affect your commitment.
Continue to learn and to develop your mind. Remember, the mind is like the stomach. It’s not how much you put into it that counts, but how much it digests. Keep in mind that doing interesting things makes you an interesting person.

12. Take time for personal rejuvenation, growth, and sustenance
a. Take time to work. It’s the price of success. b. Take time to think. It’s the source of power. c. Take time to read. It’s the fountain of wisdom. d. Take Time to Dream. It’s hitching your wagon to a star. e. Take Time to be friendly. It’s the road to happiness. f. Take time to love and be loved. It’s the privilege of the gods. g. Take time to play. It’s the secret of perpetual youth. h. Take time to look around. It’s too short a day to be selfish. i. Take time to laugh. It is the music of the soul.

13. Develop knowledge of the things that interest your partner 
Check different sources for continuing learning. Keep up with current events and build your vocabulary. To relax the mind is to lose it. If you are not working at a regular job, become involved in community activities. Discover if your hobby can be developed into a money- making activity.

14. Be Willing to Converse and Discuss, but Never Argue
Resolve any differences before going to bed. Communication does not begin with being understood, but with understanding others. Always keep open lines of communication. The real art of conversation is not to say the right thing, in the right moment, in the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing.

As long as at the tempting word remains unspoken, you are its master; once you utter it, you are its slave. Always look to give praise and compliments, rather than criticism. The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. Reinforce the good things that your mate does, you'll make sure those get repeated.

15. Recognize the difference between a discussion and an argument and choose discussion. 
Arguments are attempts to manipulate and subordinate others. We argue only if we feel weak. If we feel we are in the dominating position, we do not bother to argue. Arguing is a form of nagging and is always a clear sign of dependency. When we give up trying to influence others, we have no further need to argue with them.

Discussion is the anvil on which the spark of truth is struck. When arguing with a difficult person, make sure that you try to look at matters from the other's point of view. Realize that the other's point of is a result of their personality, education, and experiences.

It’s important for your mental health and well-being that your relationships are healthy ones. Become more self-reliant and make sure that your relationships are mutually beneficial.  You’ll be a much happier person.


What are your thoughts? Leave your comments.

Stess can be a Killer. Here are 3 Ways to Superbly Manage it

Stress is to be expected and embraced.

Stress is normal. Everyone feels stress related to work, relationships, choices, decisions, your future and more. 

Stress affects everyone everyday and for the most part, stress offers the push we need to respond to a pressing situation.

Because it offers the aforementioned push, stress can be positive. You need a certain amount of stress to perform best at work. 

The key to stress management is to determine the right amount of stress that will give you energy, ambition, and enthusiasm, versus the wrong amount which can harm your health and well being. 

Positive stress is a motivator, challenging you to act in creative and resourceful ways. Here are the 3 Ways to Superbly Manage It. 
 
1. Manage stress for personal benefit.
Acknowledge that stress is good and make stress your friend. Based upon the body's natural fight or flight response, that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. A professional sports player is never totally relaxed before a big game. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts.

2. Know that there is no life without stress.
Stress is a part of life in both small and large amounts. It comes with all of life's daily hassles and irritations such as traffic jams, long lines in the stores, dealing with a demanding boss, and arguing with a spouse or disciplining your child. 

Stress also comes with crises and life changing events such as illness, marriage problems, financial difficulties, divorce or death. All these events force you to adjust, whether you are prepared or not.

3. Don't hesitate to get help when needed. 
If stress is not managed properly, the constant and cumulative impact of stressors, both small and large, adds up to a big impact. Don't hesitate to consider counseling. 

It's not a sign of weakness to get help, rather it's a sign of a desire for personal growth and an increased capacity to cope with life's circumstances.

Leave your thoughts and comments below. And share this article.

4 Ways to Take Control Your Life and Break Bad Habits

To take control of your life, recognize that habits are response patterns to situations. If you are a smoker, you reach for a cigarette when the coffee is served, but not during the soup. You don't smoke or even want to in church, in the theater, in a courtroom, or in other places where no one usually smokes. However, given the right circumstances you will light up.

In order to break a habit, then, you must recognize that you must deal with the source of satisfaction - that is, you must want to change your ways and give up the real or imagined benefits; you must be aware of what you are doing, and, you must take in account the situation that had become associated with the habit.

A number of methods for habit breaking have been proposed by therapists working from different points of views. Here I will review some of them and recommend the one that I believe is the most effective.

1. One method for habit breaking is through negative practice. This is deliberately repeating a habit over and over again until you are totally bored with it. This method can be used when you seem to be unaware of when or why you are doing something. This procedure calls attention to the situation involved, which makes them recognizable so that preventive action can be taken. 

2. Another method that can be used is the tapering off method. This is a long-term process and works only if you are seriously interested in breaking the habit. If the habit is related to a life-threatening disease such as cancer or heart disease your motivation to break the habit can be significantly strong enough so that nothing else may be needed.

3. Another method is to quit cold turkey.  You may experience significant stress with this approach or you may perhaps experience some joy out of being able to make such a complete break. This is not a method, but a decision that you make and are willing to stick with despite the potential discomfort that you will experience.

4. Finally, in my judgment the best way to break any habit is to follow the five main components of the habit reversal method:

a. Recognize that the habit is a strong or persistent urge that is not rooted in deeper psychological problems.
b. Keep precise record of urges and count the number of times that you actually succumb to them.
c. Develop an awareness of the chain of events that leads to or results in the unwanted behavior.
d. Learn relaxation method as a means of combating the urges.
e. And, substitute a response that incompatible with the unwanted behaviors.

If you really desire to quit any habit and take control of your life this five easy step process really works.

The Most Important Ways to Exercise your Mind and Body

Although, as a busy single parent, you  carve out time to read with your children. However, you must find time for your own reading. The old adage, you are what you read, still rings true. When your reading materials are success-oriented and optimistic, your achievement level will be high. 

If your reading materials are pessimistic or depicts people as victims of circumstance, your achievement level will be low. It seems that achievement oriented literature will help you to think in terms of goals and success. It can be most supportive of you in your pursuit of inner strength and self-reliance.  
 
Keep the book you never get to read either in your car, your briefcase, or your purse. If you are waiting in a long line some where, or if you are caught waiting for a tardy child, it will become an opportunity to read.

And, finally, think about a book that you absolutely loved when you were in college and reread it. Great literature is every bit as great the second time around.

For the body consider this. Nearly six out of ten people experience no daily exercise. However, like any other activity, it takes both choice and commitment. Walking, jogging, biking, or working out regularly on a home exercise machine such as a stationary bike can have a positive impact on your physical and emotional health, but you have to choose to do it and commit to doing it. 

Do it even if you think you don't have time for it. It's good for the mind, good for the soul, and it doesn't have to cost you a cent. Also consider walking with a friend. It's a perfect way to do two things at once: exercise and create an opportunity for good conversation. In addition to a regular exercise routine, get extra exercise by walking up a flight of stairs rather than using an elevator.

Back to the simple home exercise machine. It works fine. Forget the fancy looking exercise machines you see advertised on television and forget joining the local health club. You don't need either before you start exercising. In reality, the foundation of any good exercise program needs to be no more complicated than taking a walk or a jog for free and adding a few other activities such as sit-ups, push-ups, or jumping on an exercise bike if you just want to work on certain parts of the body and to give yourself some variety. This is all that is required for you to have a positive effect on your health.

To get the maximum enjoyment from life, you need to pursue the care and feeding of both your mind and your body. Think about health as a broad goal for both your mind and your body.

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