3 Best Ever Rules for Dealing with Worry

To a degree, everyone worries, some people worry in nearly every situation. Whether things are good or bad, they worry that this situation would surely get worse. 

Worry can be a terrible burden. Understand that worrying is a drain on your energy and enthusiasm and if uncontrolled, it can be a terrible burden to your existence. 

How you handle worry can determine whether you are going to live a happy, normal life or one filled with neurosis and negativism.

Worry is a Matter of  Choice
The good news is that any situation which can be used to generate worry can also be used to generate hope. Psychologists have found that worrying is simply a matter of choice and is unrelated to the events in our lives. 

In fact, some people experience worry more than 10 times as often as others, and, not surprisingly, they reduce their likelihood of happiness by 64%.

Here are the 3 Best Ever Rules for Dealing with Worry:

1. Concentrate your energy on today. Effort that can be used to solve today's problems is wasted when you worry about tomorrow; and to make matters worse, most things that people worry about never materialize. James A. Garfield, the 20th President of the United States, once said," I have had many troubles in my life, but the worse of them never came." 

Chances are that if today's problems are handled in an efficient manner, they will not only make you more confident to handle tomorrow's problems, but also may have a minimizing effect on those problems.

Determine if you have immediate cause for worrying. Ask yourself, "Can the things I am worried about materialize?" What will happen if they do? Do they represent real dangers? Can something be done about it today? If nothing, then force yourself to attend to matters at hand.

2. Assuming that you have cause for worrying: what is the worst that can happen? Lose your health? Your job? Is your family, prestige, or self-esteem in danger? It is of particular importance to the final step that you identify the worst that can happen. 

If this identification process indicates no real dangers facing you, then concentrate on the real problems of today, rather than the imaginary ones of tomorrow.

3. After considering the worst that can happen, then now is the time to do something about your worries by contemplating methods of handling them. 

When real danger faces you, more good can be accomplished by outlining alternative courses of action rather than worrying about the dangers, and when no alternative exists then face the problem squarely.

When you get caught up in your worries and anxieties, take these three steps: live for today; consider the worst that can happen; and then do something about it. You will find yourself living a happier life.

Are you a worrier? Did you find this article to be helpful? Leave your comments below.

How to Exercise Your Mind and Body

Although, as a busy single parent, you  carve out time to read with your children. However, you must find time for your own reading. The old adage, you are what you read, still rings true. 

When your reading materials are success-oriented and optimistic, your achievement level will be high. 

Read Regularly
If your reading materials are pessimistic or depicts people as victims of circumstance, your achievement level will be low. It seems that achievement oriented literature will help you to think in terms of goals and success. It can be most supportive of you in your pursuit of inner strength and self-reliance. 
 
Keep the book you never get to read either in your car, your briefcase, or your purse. If you are waiting in a long line some where, or if you are caught waiting for a tardy child, it will become an opportunity to read.

And, finally, think about a book that you absolutely loved when you were in college and reread it. Great literature is every bit as great the second time around.

Exercise Daily
Nearly six out of ten people experience no daily exercise. However, like any other activity, it takes both choice and commitment. Walking, jogging, biking, or working out regularly on a home exercise machine such as a stationary bike can have a positive impact on your physical and emotional health, but you have to choose to do it and commit to doing it. 

Do it even if you think you don't have time for it. It's good for the mind, good for the soul, and it doesn't have to cost you a cent. Also consider walking with a friend. It's a perfect way to do two things at once: exercise and create an opportunity for good conversation. In addition to a regular exercise routine, get extra exercise by walking up a flight of stairs rather than using an elevator.

Positive Benefits
Back to the simple home exercise machine. It works fine. Forget the fancy looking exercise machines you see advertised on television and forget joining the local health club. You don't need either before you start exercising. In reality, the foundation of any good exercise program needs to be no more complicated than taking a walk or a jog for free and adding a few other activities such as sit-ups, push-ups, or jumping on an exercise bike if you just want to work on certain parts of the body and to give yourself some variety. This is all that is required for you to have a positive effect on your health.

To get the maximum enjoyment from life, you need to pursue the care and feeding of both your mind and your body. Think about health as a broad goal for both your mind and your body.

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For Personal Development and Productivity - Start by Managing Your Time

Procrastinations, interruptions, and distractions are the three culprits that work against your efforts at personal development and productivity.

1. Procrastinations often arise because psychologically you don't want to do the task and consequently you keep putting it off. 

You either perceive the task as being too difficult, too aggravating, too provoking or all three and try to avoid doing it. 

However, avoidance is not the solution and the longer you put it off, the more anxious you will become. 

The solution is psychological in nature. You need to relax, visualize the most positive and constructive outcome you can, and then focus on the steps necessary to make the outcome a reality. Take the steps and then be pleasantly surprised at what happens.

2. Interruptions can be phone calls, someone wanting a face-to-face meeting with you, or any unanticipated event. 

Interruptions, however, can be prevented. If you're working at home consider structuring your day and vow to stick to your structure. 

Break your day down into time/task segments. For example, if according to your body clock, you are typically alert and do your best mentally challenging work early in the morning, schedule the first hour of the morning to do your research and writing if you work requires that. 

Then, schedule your organizing and filing at the end of the day. The hours in the late mornings and mid afternoons can be allocated for meetings, phone calls, appointments and lunch breaks.

3. Distractions are the result of an undisciplined mind. 

Distractions principally happen as a matter of choice. You can choose to be distracted by watching porn as some of our government workers were recently seen doing. You can choose to dwell on the argument you had with your spouse. Or, you can choose to be distracted by the computer games instead of focusing on your tasks.

While procrastinations are also a matter of choice, distractions are even more so. Procrastinations might indeed be associated with having to deal with an unsavory experience such as have to fire someone, reveal some other type of bad news to someone, or just doing something you just don't want to do but has to be done. 

Distractions on the other hand tend to result from an idle mind - a mind without a focus. Choosing to focus and act on constructive tasks with a strong desire to do so until you complete them eliminates distractions.

Your personal development as well as your productivity depends upon you clearly identifying these three culprits and taking the steps to eliminate them.

How have you been managing or eliminating these three culprits? Leave your comments below.

Stess can be a Killer. Here are 3 Ways to Superbly Manage it

Stress is to be expected and embraced.

Stress is normal. Everyone feels stress related to work, relationships, choices, decisions, your future and more. 

Stress affects everyone everyday and for the most part, stress offers the push we need to respond to a pressing situation.

Because it offers the aforementioned push, stress can be positive. You need a certain amount of stress to perform best at work. 

The key to stress management is to determine the right amount of stress that will give you energy, ambition, and enthusiasm, versus the wrong amount which can harm your health and well being. 

Positive stress is a motivator, challenging you to act in creative and resourceful ways. Here are the 3 Ways to Superbly Manage It. 
 
1. Manage stress for personal benefit.
Acknowledge that stress is good and make stress your friend. Based upon the body's natural fight or flight response, that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. A professional sports player is never totally relaxed before a big game. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts.

2. Know that there is no life without stress.
Stress is a part of life in both small and large amounts. It comes with all of life's daily hassles and irritations such as traffic jams, long lines in the stores, dealing with a demanding boss, and arguing with a spouse or disciplining your child. 

Stress also comes with crises and life changing events such as illness, marriage problems, financial difficulties, divorce or death. All these events force you to adjust, whether you are prepared or not.

3. Don't hesitate to get help when needed. 
If stress is not managed properly, the constant and cumulative impact of stressors, both small and large, adds up to a big impact. Don't hesitate to consider counseling. 

It's not a sign of weakness to get help, rather it's a sign of a desire for personal growth and an increased capacity to cope with life's circumstances.

Leave your thoughts and comments below. And share this article.

3 Ways to Break Bad Habits and Establish Good Ones

To take control of your life, recognize that habits are response patterns to situations. If you are a smoker, you reach for a cigarette when the coffee is served, but not during the soup.

You don't smoke or even want to in church, in the theater, in a courtroom, or in other places where no one usually smokes. Given the right circumstances or if you are experiencing stress, you will seek satisfaction by lighting up.

In order to break a habit, then, you must recognize that you must deal with the source of satisfaction - that is, you must want to change your ways and give up the real or imagined benefits; you must be aware of what you are doing, and, you must take in account the situation that had become associated with the habit.

A number of methods for habit breaking have been proposed by therapists working from different points of views. Here are 3 of them and those that I believe are the most effective:

1. One method for habit breaking is through negative practice. This is deliberately repeating a habit over and over again until you are totally bored with it. This method can be used when you seem to be unaware of when or why you are doing something. This procedure calls attention to the situation involved, which makes them recognizable so that preventive action can be taken. 

2. Another method that can be used is the tapering off method. This is a long-term process and works only if you are seriously interested in breaking the habit. If the habit is related to a life-threatening disease such as cancer or heart disease your motivation to break the habit can be significantly strong enough so that nothing else may be needed.

3. Still another method is to quit cold turkey.  You may experience significant stress with this approach or you may perhaps experience some joy out of being able to make such a complete break.

This is not a method, but a decision that you make and are willing to stick with despite the potential discomfort that you will experience.

Finally, in my judgment the best way to break any habit is to follow the 5 main components of the habit reversal method:
1. Recognize that the habit is a strong or persistent urge that is not rooted in deeper psychological problems.
2. Keep precise record of urges and count the number of times that you actually succumb to them.
3. Develop an awareness of the chain of events that leads to or results in the unwanted behavior.
4. Learn relaxation method as a means of combating the urges.
5. And, substitute a response that incompatible with the unwanted behaviors.

If you really desire to quit any habit and take control of your life, this 5 easy step process really works.


What do you think? Leave your comments below.

4 Ways to Take Control Your Life and Break Bad Habits

To take control of your life, recognize that habits are response patterns to situations. If you are a smoker, you reach for a cigarette when the coffee is served, but not during the soup. You don't smoke or even want to in church, in the theater, in a courtroom, or in other places where no one usually smokes. However, given the right circumstances you will light up.

In order to break a habit, then, you must recognize that you must deal with the source of satisfaction - that is, you must want to change your ways and give up the real or imagined benefits; you must be aware of what you are doing, and, you must take in account the situation that had become associated with the habit.

A number of methods for habit breaking have been proposed by therapists working from different points of views. Here I will review some of them and recommend the one that I believe is the most effective.

1. One method for habit breaking is through negative practice. This is deliberately repeating a habit over and over again until you are totally bored with it. This method can be used when you seem to be unaware of when or why you are doing something. This procedure calls attention to the situation involved, which makes them recognizable so that preventive action can be taken. 

2. Another method that can be used is the tapering off method. This is a long-term process and works only if you are seriously interested in breaking the habit. If the habit is related to a life-threatening disease such as cancer or heart disease your motivation to break the habit can be significantly strong enough so that nothing else may be needed.

3. Another method is to quit cold turkey.  You may experience significant stress with this approach or you may perhaps experience some joy out of being able to make such a complete break. This is not a method, but a decision that you make and are willing to stick with despite the potential discomfort that you will experience.

4. Finally, in my judgment the best way to break any habit is to follow the five main components of the habit reversal method:

a. Recognize that the habit is a strong or persistent urge that is not rooted in deeper psychological problems.
b. Keep precise record of urges and count the number of times that you actually succumb to them.
c. Develop an awareness of the chain of events that leads to or results in the unwanted behavior.
d. Learn relaxation method as a means of combating the urges.
e. And, substitute a response that incompatible with the unwanted behaviors.

If you really desire to quit any habit and take control of your life this five easy step process really works.