8 Ways to Encourage Your Child's Independence

Children crawl before they walk; walk before they run. One is generally is a precondition for the other. And with each step they take towards more independence, more mastery of the environment, you, the parent take a step away -- each a small separation, a small distancing.

In healthy families, children at an early age, discover through being listened to that what they have to say is important, that their experiences and ideas, and they themselves have worth. 

They are encouraged to think for themselves, express opinions, and make decisions for themselves. Their parents support to stand on their own two feet and do what they think is right. Trusting and gaining confidence in themselves, they develop an inner locus of control.

It's a fine line between wanting your child to head off into the big wide world before they're ready and molly-coddling them.

Here then are 8 ways to encourage your child's independence and foster their self-reliance:

1. Show enthusiasm when your child tries to help, even if it'll take longer. Praise the effort and recognize any task he accomplishes.

2. Help your child make decisions by offering a small choice such as which story to read or what shirt to wear.

3. Give him little responsibilities and gradually increase them based on his capabilities but always within reason, such as putting his clothes in the hamper, putting his toys away, or helping you to get the dinner ready.

4. Praise his ability. This is necessary for a child to believe he's capable of doing things, and that it was his own skill that led to success, rather than luck. For instance, tell him how clever he is for throwing the ball into the hoop, rather than that was lucky.

5. Tempting as it is to say, “I’ll do it,” say ”Let me show you how” instead. That way, your child is learning new skills and not just relying on you to do everything for him.

6. Point out why things are dangerous or unacceptable without belittling the motivation to do things on his own. For example, Having your child use a sharp knife to help with dinner is never a good idea even though your child has seen you use one, showing him how to use a butter knife would be more appropriate.

7. Avoid using the word “no” unless something is dangerous or clearly wrong.

8. Respect a child's feelings and fears. Even if it seems silly to you, ask him why he's afraid and then take time to talk about it.


How much emphasis do you put on encouraging independence in your children?

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3 Reasons Why All Types of Families are Important

Families are so important because we are born into them, marry into to them, and even create them among the people we love. 

They come large and extended or small and nuclear. But whatever their size or wherever they live, strong families give us the nurturance and strength we need in order to survive.

1. Family of Orientation 
To expand upon the above, throughout our lives, most of us find ourselves living in two types of families -- our family of orientation and our family of procreation. 

Our family of orientation is the family in which we were born into. We had no choice as to who our parents would be nor the genes we would inherit. In addition, we had no say in our early intellectual stimulation or in how our emotional or survival needs would be met.

Our family of orientation, nevertheless, is the institution that hopefully gave us the sense of stability and protection that we all need. We had to rely on our family of orientation to provide the nourishment, shelter, and assistance in learning how to walk, talk, and eat. In the context of early stimulation, we also relied on the family of orientation to learn the basics of our language. In America, it's our basic alphabets, our basic numbers, how to formulate simple sentences, and how to build on our vocabulary throughout childhood and the rest of our lives. At best the family teaches the finest things human beings can learn from one another -- generosity and love. But, it is all too often where we learn nasty things such as hate, rage and shame.

2. Family of Procreation. 
The difference between the two is substantial. The choices which led up to this family of procreation is solely yours. When you married, you had to choose the one you married. Included with that individual's looks, personality, abilities, knowledge and interests was all of his relatives and perhaps even his children. Hopefully, that individual did not bring with him baggage from his family of orientation or previous relationships, but rather positive experiences from one of the other or both.

Foundation of Society

The institution of the family is decisive in determining not only if you have the capacity to love another individual but in the larger social sense whether you are capable of loving your fellow man collectively. The whole of society rest upon this foundation for stability, understanding, and social peace. But however the forms of family life have changed and the number expanded, the role of the family has remained constant and it continues to be a major institution to which children pass en route to adulthood.

Children thrive in a variety of family forms; they develop normally with single parents; with unmarried parents; with multiple caretakers in a communal setting; and, with traditional two-parent families. What children require is loving and attentive adults, not a particular family type.


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