Seven Things Single Parents Must Juggle Successfully

It is fascinating to watch professional jugglers keep multiple plates, bottles or whatever in the air without dropping them. In the same context it is fascinating to watch how a competent single parent is able to successfully juggle all the demands associated with raising two or more children alone and still maintain poise and serenity.

In my view there are seven things that successful single parents have learned to do well:

1.           housekeeping or homemaking

2.           managing children's schedules and obligations,

3.           finding time to pursue personal growth,

4.           maintaining healthy, supportive relationships,

5.           handling work obligations,

6.           finding time for rest and rejuvenation,

7.           and, regularly engaging in fun, enjoyable activities.

To do each of these things requires you to be able to manage your time, set up a schedule, stick to it, and become well disciplined.

Each of the seven things is important and requires serious thought and consideration.

Good housekeeping means keeping each room organized and maintained for the purpose it serves. If a room is to serve multiple purposes, then that must be communicated to the children so that if a part of the kitchen is to be used for doing homework, then after homework is completed, the child has to gather up his books and materials and put them in the area in which they belong.

Managing your children's schedules and obligations are not only important for their well-being and development, but also for you to keep disciplinary issues at a minimum. Children who know what to do and when to do it and get praised for doing so, will pose fewer disciplinary problems.

Finding time to pursue personal growth is essential. It doesn't matter whether it's exercising, reading, taking a class or whatever, the key is that you are looking ahead to the time when you will have an empty nest and your children will not be the center of your life. At that time you may decide to pursue new a new relationship or a new career.

Maintaining healthy, supportive relationships is an essential element for maintaining good mental health. It is important to have a supportive social network whether it includes your relatives, friends or neighbors.

Work obligations can be stressful. If you have a job that is not stressful and you work in a pleasant environment, you should be very thankful. The main thing is to leave the work issues at the workplace. Don't bring them home. Your children need a calm, disciplined parent.

Rest and rejuvenation is important just to be able to maintain good health and do the seven things you need to do. Try to get at least six hours of sound sleep so that you can be alert and focused the next day.

And finally, find time to regularly engage in fun, enjoyable activities. Having fun is a need that is just as important as being free of unhealthy, destructive relationships. Accept being single as a positive and allow time for fun whether it's enjoying something alone or with good friends.



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One Best Way All Single Parents Can Help Their Children Acquire High Self-Esteem

laSelf-esteem is best described as one's estimation of oneself. If someone has low self-esteem or high self-esteem it can be readily identified in his behavior, his appearance, his relationship with others, and his approach to tasks and challenges. Building your child's self-esteem has to be an essential task for you to embrace as your child's parent as well as doing it the right way.

As one who has counseled parents and children professionally, in my opinion, the best way to help your child with his self-esteem is to begin by carefully observing and recognizing your child's strengths, talents, and abilities. Providing stimulating activities, recognizing your child's talents and abilities, building your child's sense of self worth and knowing your child's strengths all derive from this activity.

Provide Stimulating Activities

As he emerges from early childhood you will begin to see him become more self expressive. This is especially so if you have exposed him to a variety of stimulating activities consistently doing his early years. If you have exposed your child adequately and the home environment is conducive to learning, you'll begin to see some talents and abilities associated with his interests begin to emerge.

Recognize Your Child’s Talents and Abilities

Your child may then begin to show talent in music, athletics, math, reading, art, dance or whatever. Herein lies an opportunity to acknowledge this talent and legitimately praise and encourage your child to expand on what he seems able to do so easily. This is one of the best ways to build your child's self-esteem.

Build Your Child’s Sense of Self worth

This builds a foundation of belief in himself based on real life abilities and gives your child a sense of self-worth that will carry on into other areas as he progresses through life. As self-esteem begin on the inside, this belief in oneself based on real life abilities works to eliminate self-defeating thoughts and statements which is the basis of low self-esteem and causes so much emotional pain. Praising your child is extremely important, but it must be based on reality.

Know Your Child’s Strengths  

As your child's parent, never become so absorbed in yourself, your relationships, or your job, whereas you just view your child as a burden and neglect observing your child with the intention of learning your child's strengths, talents, and abilities. Keep in mind that you are the most important adult in your child's life. In order to genuinely improve your child's self-esteem you must help your child to understand that he can't control what goes on the outside, but he can control what goes on the inside.

Be the cheerleader for your child. Give him the capacity to stand upon his abilities and to accept failures as a learning experience that leads to future successes.


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How to Set Limits for Your Children as a Single Parent

Whether you call them limits or rules, as a single parent you must set them, and you and only you must see to it that they are adhered to. The limits or rules must be practical and within your child's capacity to follow. And they must be consistent and expressive of your loving concern.

It is normal for children to test out limits both in words and in action. Establishing independence from adult authority is a healthy way for children to express their individuality. 

The question is how you as the parent walk the tricky line between allowing your child to express their feelings while still asserting your authority as parent and setting the necessary limits. Children need both latitude of expression and firmly enforced limits on their behavior, in a blend that results in calm, patient management.

What is Effective Discipline?

Effective discipline is essentially setting limits and maintaining the limits while at the same time tailoring the home environment to the developmental level of the child - what the child can handle - and to the individual differences among your children.

Effective discipline is to be distinguished from corporal punishment. Discipline teaches self-control and builds conscience--a sense of right and wrong. Punishment teaches that if you are bigger and stronger than someone else, you can impose your will on that person. Discipline builds a collaborative, cooperative atmosphere while punishment builds a tense authoritative atmosphere. And, punishment is short term and negative while discipline is long term and positive.

Stop Using Corporal Punishment

After making sure the child is not endangering himself or others, the next time you think about using corporal punishment, stop in your tracks, step back and sit down. Or, phone a relative or a friend. Or even better, put in your favorite CD, relax and listen to at least one track. During these few minutes consider what alternative would most effectively change the behavior as well as to further the type of relationship you would like to have with your child.

Limit setting as a disciplinary measure provides the child with the guidelines he needs for everyday behavior. It protects him from the consequences of his own passions and lack of experience and makes clear the known and prescribed consequences. It is then up to you, the parent, to enforce the consequences when your child oversteps the limits. The enforcement should be carried in a matter-of-fact way, without any anger or guilt feelings, with the child being made fully aware that the consequences are a result of his choice.

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