Being a Single Parent, Never Being Married, and Liking It

Being a single parent and never being married is not a stigma to be avoided. The divorce rate in the United States is in the neighborhood of forty percent. Not only that, but a divorce can be nasty and circumstances leading up to it can be psychologically and financially devastating. Moreover, both individuals may be left with "baggage" that can be carried over and easily affect future relationships.

Never Being Married and Liking It 
Never being married and liking it can be reflective of various circumstances. It could be that you are a rational person who does not let emotional responses overcome your rational responses. Maybe the idea of falling in love perhaps was never a factor in how your relationships came into being. Even though you became a single parent as a result of the relationship, you did not conclude that because you and the other person had a child together, you had to get married for the sake of the child. If you have achieved such a balance in your responses to a potential spouse, you are to be commended.

The idea of falling in love has a history of being extremely detrimental to many. When your emotions take over, you are unable to critically evaluate the person you're interested in. Thinking rationally, you might have recognized that the individual is lazy and dishonest; you might have recognized that the individual is a big spender with little knowledge of basic money management; and, you might have recognized that the individual is involved with disreputable associates. Not recognizing these character traits can lead to many years of heartaches and disappointments.

However, if you were able to recognize these characteristics and avoided marriage, then your life has been spared of such experiences and chances are you are healthier psychologically as a result.

Having a Good Support System
The other circumstance may be that after becoming a parent, you realize that you still have a good support system--your parents, other relatives, and close friends--who recognize along with you, that having a child should not necessarily hinder you in your pursuance of your goals. Consequently with that support, you set your sights on pursuing your career and only chose to have relationships with those who are supportive of you and whose goals are compatible with yours. You were satisfied with occasional movies, dinners, and recreational activities, but were willing to put limits on when it began to affect your goal seeking. Once again you are to be commended and I hope that I described you in one of my characterizations.

Never being married and liking it means that you have never experienced the loving support and marital bliss that may occur in such a relationship, but on the other hand, you never had to experience the harsh and sometimes violent experience leading up to a divorce and its unsavory aftermath.


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