6 Steps to Start Living a Simpler and Happier Life

The simpler life requires you to figure out precisely what your idea of heaven is and then design your life as close to it as possible while you're still on this planet. 

As a single parent you need to do this. 

Begin with these 6 Steps to Start Living a Simpler and Happier Life.

 1. Relax your standards.

     If you are struggling to meet self-imposed standards   because you find the effort  satisfying, then, by all means   struggle on. But if meeting your standards leave you with too little energy to enjoy other things, it's time to relax them.

      2. Take Time to Figure What You Find Most Satisfying

     Set aside the time to think about what it is that gives you the most pleasure and satisfaction, and start doing it.

      3. Create Time for the Things You Care About.

     The purpose of taking the time to think about what it is you care about is to make time for those things in your life.

      4. Learn to Enjoy What’s in Front of You.

      Try to see everything that’s beautiful in front of you and live in that moment. There's a skill involved in looking at what’s in front you and finding a gift in it.To some extent I’m talking    about a half full rather than a half  empty approach to life.This type of vision really cuts away all kinds of clutter.

       5. Learn to be Flexible.

      Many of us develop patterns of behavior – habits – that takes on a life of their own. In fact, there is a real value in change, that is, in shaking things up every now and then and surprising everyone, including yourself.

      6.  Prioritize

     The entire notion of prioritizing how you spend your time implies that you actually  have some control over your life. It is that kind of taking control and experiencing satisfaction    that I am trying to foster.

Clearly we all have things we must do that we wish we didn't have to do. But as I said earlier, you will be surprised to discover just how much choice you have about where your energies go.

Remember you really do have the capacity to make choices. And that’s the key to a simpler life.

Your Comments? Leave Them Below.

What Single Parents Need to Know to Live Longer and Enjoy Life

As a single parent who needs to care for yourself and your children, eating more fruits and vegetables every day as part of a healthy eating plan may lower your chances of getting cancer, heart disease and stroke and other chronic diseases. 

Today, more than 90 percent of all Americans do not eat the daily recommended amount of fruits and vegetables. 

Eat More Fruits and Vegetables
The answer is simple... just eat more fruits and vegetables for the benefit of getting more fiber in your system. as well as the other benefits. Focus on how to incorporate more fruits and vegetables into your daily eating plan.

To get more fiber in your diet, the following food items are examples of good sources of dietary fiber -- beans, blueberries, grapes, apples. most raw vegetables, whole grain cereals, sweet potatoes, and whole grain breads. Current recommendations for healthy adults are to get 20 to 30 grams of fiber a day through dietary food sources. 

However, Americans on average only get about 10 to 13 grams a day.  Some of the many health benefits to eating enough fiber, include lowering blood cholesterol levels and assisting with digestive disorders. If you want to increase fiber, do so gradually by 16 adding small amounts to your daily diet.

Reduce Saturated Fats in Your Diet
Why is it important to reduce the saturated fat in the diet? It helps prevent many chronic diseases such as heart disease and stroke. It helps prevent clogging of the arteries. It helps with weight control and management. It helps lower blood cholesterol levels. 

The American Heart Association and other nutrition guidelines encourage all Americans to reduce their overall intake of saturated fat in their diets. On average, Americans consume 45 percent to 50 percent of their total daily calories from saturated fat sources. 

Saturated fat is found in animal products such as meat, high-fat dairy products and also in some processed foods. You should limit your intake of saturated fats to 10 percent or less of your daily fat calories. 

Healthier fat sources include monosaturated or polyunsaturated sources of fat such as olive oil, canola oil and nuts.

Trans fats are Unhealthy
Trans fats are considered unhealthy fat sources. The following tips will lower your intake of trans fats. Choose liquid vegetable oils. Reduce eating commercially prepared baked goods and snack foods.

Avoid deep-fried foods eaten away from home. Limit eating fast foods. And, read the food labels. According the Institute of Medicine, there are no safe levels of trans fats. Try to replace saturated and trans fats with vegetable oils and other non-saturated fat sources.


Do you have some healthy eating tips you would like to add? Leave your thoughts below.

3 Ways to Get the Most Out of Your Life as a Single Parent

As a single parent, you are the most important individual in your children's lives. 

Keep yourself in good physical condition. 

If you have young children, you realize how important it is to keep yourself in good shape to deal with the needs of your active offspring. 

If getting a membership at the local health club or YMCA is out of the budget, then find a way to at least get an exercise bike and work out at ten minutes a day and eat a balanced diet.

Now, here are 3 ways to get the most out of your life as your children become grownups:

1. Visualize and pursue a rewarding future that you can realize once you have an empty nest.

Do not allow yourself to be in position of acceding to your grown children's demands because you have an unfulfilled life. Grown children generally have no qualms about asking you to babysit your grandchildren or becoming an unpaid chauffeur.

However, if you have pursued a new direction prior to having an empty nest, then you can easily let your grown children know that on certain dates and times they can come by with the children for a visit, to have dinner, or to enjoy a pleasant conversation. 

But, they will know that at an agreed upon time they will be expected to go home. With this understanding, your grown children will have increased respect for you.

2. Develop and keep quality friends and relationships. 

Good friends and quality relationships are good for your mental health. However, it is essential to make the distinction between friends and acquaintances. 

A friend is someone who cares about your well-being and loves you unconditionally. And furthermore, a friend is supportive of your goals when your goals are in your best interest and will let you know when they are detrimental to your best interest.

Acquaintances often do not have your best interest at heart. Moreover acquaintances are likely to waste your time with idle and useless conversation and get you involved in wasteful activities. 

As a final point, acquaintances often want to use you to meet their own needs whereas in a friendship you and your friend are mutually supportive.

3. Consider your interest and skills and build on them.

Life is worthwhile when you continue to grow throughout your time on this earth. Think about the interests you had when you were in your teenage years that have remained in the back of your mind and never pursued. 

Perhaps you want to own your own business, go back to school to get your degree, become a nurse, social worker, or teacher, or even become a singer or motivational speaker if you have the talent.

The point is to consider your interest and your skills. If you have one or more interests and some skills which match those interests, then build on those interests and skills and let them take you to some new self-fulfilling goals.

When your children are young your most important obligations are to make sure that their needs are met and that they learn the self-reliant skills sufficient enough to become responsible and productive adults. 

While you are providing the required love and discipline for your children, you should have fun with them. 

When they become adults, your role as a parent changes. You become more of an advisor and a confidant. 

Make sure that they understand your new role and boundaries and begin to use the 3 Ways to Get More Out of Life. 

5 Ways All Single Moms Can Get On With Living

Start Living

Breaking up with a spouse or boyfriend should not be viewed as a devastating experience. On the contrary, it should be viewed as a liberating one.

If you were to take a step back, to take a deep breath, and to reflect on how the circumstances fell in place that led up to the break up you will have to admit that you saw it coming. 

You may have resisted accepting it because of fear of being alone and having to start all over, but if the relationship had been characterized by constant arguments, demeaning language, and consistent lack of cooperation, then the absence of this type of stress should be well received. 

It is indeed time to get on with living.

Here are 5 ways to do so:

1. Eliminate the other person entirely from your life. 
Cut the ties completely. Make up your mind that you will not accept any phone calls or any other type of communication from this former relationship. 

Get rid of anything the other person left behind -- pictures, clothing, and any other type of memorabilia. This is making sure that the breakup is complete.

2. Don't rush to replace this person with someone else. 
Pause, take time to understand and appreciate yourself. Make sure that the next individual is someone you to can talk to and is compatible with your values, goals, and lifestyle.

3. Beyond intimate relationships, begin to choose your friends wisely. 
Make sure you understand the difference between friends and acquaintances. A friend is someone with whom you can trust with your secrets; someone who is willing to help you in different ways; and, someone, who has your best interest at heart and vice versa. 

In contrast, an acquaintance is someone with whom may occasionally have a pleasurable conversation and attend some events but don't offer you the same benefits that come from a friendship.

4. Consider acquiring a new skill, taking up a hobby, and going to new and different types of events. 
If you have been thinking about learning line dancing, then do so; if you have been thinking about learning to garden, then do so; and, if you have been thinking about going to a jazz, folk, or country music concert, then do so.

5. And, finally work on acquiring the attitude of self-reliance. 
Begin enjoying your own company. Make yourself a more interesting person and you began to attract the type of person with whom you can have a satisfying relationship.

Most of all get on with living!

Are you ready to get on with living? Leave your comments below.

9 Tips To Live Successfully as a Single Mom

Single parenting can be stressful and if you have several children it can often be extremely stressful. 

However, when you focus on organizing your home, yourself, and your children, your stress can be significantly lessened. 

Even though you have the total responsibility for meeting the needs of your children, your children can learn to respect that you need to have time for yourself and adjust themselves accordingly. 

Also, as they grow older their distinct personalities will begin to emerge, one will be more independent than the other, and their unique talents and skills will also emerge. Then it’s up to you to recognize the differences in your children and build upon their strengths.

Meanwhile, here are the 9 Single Parenting Tips for you to successfully live by:

1. Communicate Openly 
Honestly and Often. Establish and maintain open communication and encourage clear and open expressions of thoughts and feelings. This develops trusting relationships with your children. Consistently praise their good and worthwhile efforts.

2. Accept Responsibility. 
Try to accept the responsibilities and challenges of single parenting. Don't minimize or exaggerate problems but be solution-oriented without self-pity, hostility, or bitterness.

3. Organize Your Home. 
Strive to be well organized and dependable and work hard to coordinate schedules. Put a chart on the refrigerator which breaks down household chores and make sure that the children have reminders of important tasks, events, and school happenings, Be prepared to make changes in order to cope with daily demands.

4. Take Care of Yourself. 
You can best take care of your children when you take care of yourself. If you are a new parent, have a friend or a relative come by regularly for the first few weeks. Or share babysitting. Take turns giving another single parent a break for a few hours, and then have the other parent return the favor at another time.

5. Family Commitment. 
Realize that you are not magically equipped with parental love or a “mothering instinct” which enables you to automatically care for your babies and children. It takes time, patience, experience, and effort to build a positive parent-child relationship and become an effective parent.

6. Recognize Family Traditions 
Nothing makes a child feel safer than consistent customs and traditions -- from a child's bedtime to family times, birthdays, holidays, and special events. Strive to keep the traditions going even if things get difficult.

7. Stay Positive. Attitude is a Choice 
Strive to have a positive attitude toward parenting,children and life in general. Remember your children are always watching you and will draw strength from you.

8. Manage Stress. 
Leave the room for a short time when you are losing control. You can deal more effectively with children and situations when you have time to collect your thoughts and calm down. Stress and strain are not productive to good parenting. Find a way to relieve pressure. Don’t take it out on your children.

 9. Live One Day at a Time. 
Don’t dwell on the past. Live in the present. Identify and prioritize what you need to accomplish each day and do it. Simplifying your life will keep you calm and your children will emulate you and benefit from your example. 

I welcome your comments. Leave them below.

Five Most Common Single Parenting Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

If you are like most parents, raising children and finding time for yourself can be a challenge. 

Discipline and love in equal amounts are essential in raising children. 

And, for single parents the challenge is for you to find the time to dose it out equally to your only child or to your several children. Indeed, to discipline is to show your love. 

An undisciplined child is an unloved child and one who is unprepared to deal with the real world and the situations he will be faced with. Don't let your child down.

Now, here are the 5 Most Common Mistakes many parents make in child raising and how to avoid it:

1. Not Setting Appropriate Limits
Clear, consistent limits teach children to control themselves; to know what is right and wrong; and, to know what is acceptable behavior.

2. Not Following through on Rules and Discipline
The consequences of not following through on rules and discipline are usually similar to not setting appropriate limits.

3. Constantly Criticizing your Child
Instead of criticizing your child, a better way would be to show him support and love, enhancing his self image, and have him to be surer of himself.

4. Trying to Substantially Change your Child’s Personality
The impulse to change your child to your liking is particularly strong, especially if you see them imitating something in you that you are not at all proud of. Often continuing an effort to change your child would have the reverse effect. 

He will often feel worse about himself about not being able to change and resents not being accepted as he is.

5. Fostering Dependency Long After It’s Realistic
Successful parenting ideally prepares children to make their way in the world as well as they can. If your child efforts at independence are thwarted in any way, they will have much more difficulty in establishing an independent existence.


Do you have some common mistakes you would like to include? Leave your comments below.

3 Best Ever Rules for Dealing with Worry

To a degree, everyone worries, some people worry in nearly every situation. Whether things are good or bad, they worry that this situation would surely get worse. 

Worry can be a terrible burden. Understand that worrying is a drain on your energy and enthusiasm and if uncontrolled, it can be a terrible burden to your existence. 

How you handle worry can determine whether you are going to live a happy, normal life or one filled with neurosis and negativism.

Worry is a Matter of  Choice
The good news is that any situation which can be used to generate worry can also be used to generate hope. Psychologists have found that worrying is simply a matter of choice and is unrelated to the events in our lives. 

In fact, some people experience worry more than 10 times as often as others, and, not surprisingly, they reduce their likelihood of happiness by 64%.

Here are the 3 Best Ever Rules for Dealing with Worry:

1. Concentrate your energy on today. Effort that can be used to solve today's problems is wasted when you worry about tomorrow; and to make matters worse, most things that people worry about never materialize. James A. Garfield, the 20th President of the United States, once said," I have had many troubles in my life, but the worse of them never came." 

Chances are that if today's problems are handled in an efficient manner, they will not only make you more confident to handle tomorrow's problems, but also may have a minimizing effect on those problems.

Determine if you have immediate cause for worrying. Ask yourself, "Can the things I am worried about materialize?" What will happen if they do? Do they represent real dangers? Can something be done about it today? If nothing, then force yourself to attend to matters at hand.

2. Assuming that you have cause for worrying: what is the worst that can happen? Lose your health? Your job? Is your family, prestige, or self-esteem in danger? It is of particular importance to the final step that you identify the worst that can happen. 

If this identification process indicates no real dangers facing you, then concentrate on the real problems of today, rather than the imaginary ones of tomorrow.

3. After considering the worst that can happen, then now is the time to do something about your worries by contemplating methods of handling them. 

When real danger faces you, more good can be accomplished by outlining alternative courses of action rather than worrying about the dangers, and when no alternative exists then face the problem squarely.

When you get caught up in your worries and anxieties, take these three steps: live for today; consider the worst that can happen; and then do something about it. You will find yourself living a happier life.

Are you a worrier? Did you find this article to be helpful? Leave your comments below.

Know your Type of Parenting Style and What You Need to Change

A wise observer of the human condition once commented that the politics of the family is the politics of the nation. 

Just as the authoritarian family can be the state in microcosm, the democratic family is the best training ground for life in a democracy. 

To take this perspective further, the two most easily identified parenting styles in our democratic society, whether you are a single parent or not, is the authoritarian style and the permissive style. 

But both have their drawbacks regarding your relationship with your child.

The Authoritarian Parenting Style
The authoritarian style tends to expedite things, but because of the characteristic one-way communication, it does not produce independent thinking and functioning on the part of your child. In contrast, your child perceives the permissive style as indifference. 

A child can not feel valued by a parent who is forever absorbed in her own affairs. 

Neither style allows the child to become a participant in the decision-making process which allows the child to develop the capacity to decide what to do, to take responsibility for it, and develop autonomy and independence.

The authoritarian style stems in part from the fact that parents, often in dangerous, crime-ridden neighborhoods, see around them so many young people whose lives are touched by the pain and delinquency which so often accompanies a life of poverty. 

Consequently, they fear for their children's future--fear that they will lose control and that their children will wind up in the street or worse yet, in jail.

The Permissive Parenting Style
On the other hand because you cannot control all that our children see, hear, and who they play with, it is tempting to throw up your hands and do nothing -- that is, to choose permissiveness. 

The choice, however, is not an either/or situation. Although you cannot do everything, you can do something. And that is to talk with your children and teenagers about unexpected encounters with inappropriate violence, sexuality, and profanity. 

You need to teach your children to learn right and wrong without being judgmental, to be cautious without imparting fear, to be assertive without being pushy, to stick with routines without sacrificing spontaneity, and to be determined without being stubborn.

Children must not be allowed to spew forth whatever is on their minds under the notion of family closeness, but should be allowed to respond--to talk about their experiences, express their thoughts and feelings, and ask for what they want and need in an atmosphere of respect. In so doing, children will be able to develop an integrated sense of self and their own unique personalities.


What are your thoughts? Leave your comments below