8 Ways to Encourage Your Child's Independence

Children crawl before they walk; walk before they run. One is generally is a precondition for the other. And with each step they take towards more independence, more mastery of the environment, you, the parent take a step away -- each a small separation, a small distancing.

In healthy families, children at an early age, discover through being listened to that what they have to say is important, that their experiences and ideas, and they themselves have worth. 

They are encouraged to think for themselves, express opinions, and make decisions for themselves. Their parents support to stand on their own two feet and do what they think is right. Trusting and gaining confidence in themselves, they develop an inner locus of control.

It's a fine line between wanting your child to head off into the big wide world before they're ready and molly-coddling them.

Here then are 8 ways to encourage your child's independence and foster their self-reliance:

1. Show enthusiasm when your child tries to help, even if it'll take longer. Praise the effort and recognize any task he accomplishes.

2. Help your child make decisions by offering a small choice such as which story to read or what shirt to wear.

3. Give him little responsibilities and gradually increase them based on his capabilities but always within reason, such as putting his clothes in the hamper, putting his toys away, or helping you to get the dinner ready.

4. Praise his ability. This is necessary for a child to believe he's capable of doing things, and that it was his own skill that led to success, rather than luck. For instance, tell him how clever he is for throwing the ball into the hoop, rather than that was lucky.

5. Tempting as it is to say, “I’ll do it,” say ”Let me show you how” instead. That way, your child is learning new skills and not just relying on you to do everything for him.

6. Point out why things are dangerous or unacceptable without belittling the motivation to do things on his own. For example, Having your child use a sharp knife to help with dinner is never a good idea even though your child has seen you use one, showing him how to use a butter knife would be more appropriate.

7. Avoid using the word “no” unless something is dangerous or clearly wrong.

8. Respect a child's feelings and fears. Even if it seems silly to you, ask him why he's afraid and then take time to talk about it.


How much emphasis do you put on encouraging independence in your children?

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3 Reasons Why All Types of Families are Important

Families are so important because we are born into them, marry into to them, and even create them among the people we love. 

They come large and extended or small and nuclear. But whatever their size or wherever they live, strong families give us the nurturance and strength we need in order to survive.

1. Family of Orientation 
To expand upon the above, throughout our lives, most of us find ourselves living in two types of families -- our family of orientation and our family of procreation. 

Our family of orientation is the family in which we were born into. We had no choice as to who our parents would be nor the genes we would inherit. In addition, we had no say in our early intellectual stimulation or in how our emotional or survival needs would be met.

Our family of orientation, nevertheless, is the institution that hopefully gave us the sense of stability and protection that we all need. We had to rely on our family of orientation to provide the nourishment, shelter, and assistance in learning how to walk, talk, and eat. In the context of early stimulation, we also relied on the family of orientation to learn the basics of our language. In America, it's our basic alphabets, our basic numbers, how to formulate simple sentences, and how to build on our vocabulary throughout childhood and the rest of our lives. At best the family teaches the finest things human beings can learn from one another -- generosity and love. But, it is all too often where we learn nasty things such as hate, rage and shame.

2. Family of Procreation. 
The difference between the two is substantial. The choices which led up to this family of procreation is solely yours. When you married, you had to choose the one you married. Included with that individual's looks, personality, abilities, knowledge and interests was all of his relatives and perhaps even his children. Hopefully, that individual did not bring with him baggage from his family of orientation or previous relationships, but rather positive experiences from one of the other or both.

Foundation of Society

The institution of the family is decisive in determining not only if you have the capacity to love another individual but in the larger social sense whether you are capable of loving your fellow man collectively. The whole of society rest upon this foundation for stability, understanding, and social peace. But however the forms of family life have changed and the number expanded, the role of the family has remained constant and it continues to be a major institution to which children pass en route to adulthood.

Children thrive in a variety of family forms; they develop normally with single parents; with unmarried parents; with multiple caretakers in a communal setting; and, with traditional two-parent families. What children require is loving and attentive adults, not a particular family type.


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3 Things You Can Do To Improve your Children’s Grades

Does your style as a parent affect the grades your children receive in school? Is there anything that you, as the parent, can do to help your children improve their grades?

The answer to both these questions is a definite yes.

According to a Stanford University study, there is a relationship between parents' actions and their children's school performance. Parents can, and do, have an influence on their children's grades. 

Here are three actions you can take do to help your children get higher grades in school:

1.Be firm, yet encouraging. Set reasonable guidelines for your children and stick to them, but also take the time to explain the reasons for the rules. Try to give your children the sense that you have confidence in their capabilities and that you know they are trying. Even if they aren't always trying their hardest, they may put more effort into their work knowing you think so highly of them.

2. Communicate. Talk with your children in terms they can understand. Explain to them why you think school is important and why they need to do their homework. It may not make math any easier, but at least they know that you value what they are doing. And take time to really listen to what they have to say. You can let them know you're listening by giving a one-sentence summary of what they said before going on to what you want to tell them.

3. Let them play. Unlikely as it may seem, participation in school sports is associated with better grades. This is because children use play as a way of learning, rather than just as a diversion, as most adults do. They also have more energy than most adults and need a constructive outlet for it.

Now learn 3 more things you can help your children improve their grades.

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Want an Exceptional Student? Here's the One Thing You Can Do

In their book, Pygmalion in the Classroom, psychiatrists Robert Rosenthal and school principal Lenora Jacobson describe a study they did involving children from kindergarten through fifth grade. They told the children’s teachers which students in their classrooms had “exceptional learning abilities.”

But the teachers did not know that the researchers had chosen these “exceptional” students at random. When the students were tested at the end of the school year, the students who the teachers had been led to believe had exceptional learning abilities had made much greater academic progress than their peers.

In essence, the teachers had been programmed to expect more from certain students, and these students thus expected more of themselves and delivered.

The message here for teachers is that you get what you expect.

Expect the best from your students and you’ll get the best. And, above all praise the efforts. The results will come. This is great advice for parents also.

What are your thoughts. Leave your comments below.

Secrets of School Success, Part 2

Another important feature that sets academic high achievers apart and assures their success in school is their love of learning. 

Rather than viewing learning as a navigational tool, they love to learn because of the feeling of self satisfaction it gives them. They view school as a privilege rather than a problem. 

These children who achieve academic success look forward to the opportunity to shine on tests. They make a connection between effort and good grades, and see themselves succeeding.

Academic high achievers' love of learning is most influenced by the family putting a high value on learning. 

Research shows that the homes of these children tend to be quieter with no blasting of TV, disc players, or emphasis on computer games. 

Noise gets in the way of learning. Children reared in a noisy home are slower to develop language and cognitive skills. Students tend to achieve better in school when family life is harmonious and stable. 

You may not think of your relationships as a tool for your child’s academic success, but studies show that children who perceive harmony and commitment in the household feel less anxious and more grounded – – freeing them up to do better at school. 

Academic outcome studies have also shown that students who eat meals with their families more often enjoy greater academic success. 

Here is Part 1 of the Secrets of School Success in case you missed it. What are your thoughts? Leave your comments below.

10 More Time Management Tips for the Busy Single Parent

When you manage something, you direct or control the use of it. Although you cannot direct time,
you can certainly control your use of it. All of us have the same amount of time, but how we use it, has a significant effect on the success we experience in life.

Time management does not involve any secret principles. Rather it involves setting priorities, organizing your life according to those priorities, making a commitment to keeping them, and enjoying the journey along the way with less stress and more accomplishments.

Here are the 10  more simple and easy time management tips.

1. Do it immediately. If a task can be completed in less than a minute, do it on the spot. So instead of putting the glasses and dishes in the sink and walking away, Wash them right away. Get it over with.

2. Organize your documents. Learn how to organize your documents and photos on your home or work computer. Consider the many free photo organizing applications and the organizing features in your word processing applications and use one or more of them.

3. Purge your email of all unnecessary messages. Get serious about it.

4. Organize your bookmarks. Determine the categories that are important to you and set them up.

5. Count to ten when you feel snowed under by clutter and general disorder, Just putting things back in their rightful place including the trash can. And always have a bag ready for thrift store donations.

6. Organize and file your junk email. Establish at least two new email accounts. Use one for all the retail and internet, promotions you want to receive, and for your shopping. The other email account should be for your relatives, friends, and urgent emails. Visited these accounts three times a week and dispatch everything you don’t want to save into the recycle bin.

7. Cook more rice than you need for your today’s meal. Use leftovers for spanish rice, fried rice, red beans and rice, or other good rice recipes.

8. Organize your bookshelves. You may find a favorite book that you just totally forgot to read or that you can benefit from rereading. Others you may just decide to donate.

9. Recycle instantly. Keep waste baskets in strategic spots around your home, and deposit junk mail, and unwanted catalogs in them. Buy a shredder and remember to shred anything with sensitive information.

10. And, finally, start your day smart. Begin your day with a healthy and delicious breakfast. Consider oatmeal, fruit, and raisin toast, an omelet, grits, and wheat toast, a raisin toast sandwich of your choice of jam and cream cheese and a piece of fruit. Or if you prefer something even lighter, how about raising toast, and cottage cheese with fruit. Reduce or eliminate the amount of meat you eat for breakfast. You’ll be more alert and have more energy.


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3 Ways to Break Bad Habits and Establish Good Ones

To take control of your life, recognize that habits are response patterns to situations. If you are a smoker, you reach for a cigarette when the coffee is served, but not during the soup.

You don't smoke or even want to in church, in the theater, in a courtroom, or in other places where no one usually smokes. Given the right circumstances or if you are experiencing stress, you will seek satisfaction by lighting up.

In order to break a habit, then, you must recognize that you must deal with the source of satisfaction - that is, you must want to change your ways and give up the real or imagined benefits; you must be aware of what you are doing, and, you must take in account the situation that had become associated with the habit.

A number of methods for habit breaking have been proposed by therapists working from different points of views. Here are 3 of them and those that I believe are the most effective:

1. One method for habit breaking is through negative practice. This is deliberately repeating a habit over and over again until you are totally bored with it. This method can be used when you seem to be unaware of when or why you are doing something. This procedure calls attention to the situation involved, which makes them recognizable so that preventive action can be taken. 

2. Another method that can be used is the tapering off method. This is a long-term process and works only if you are seriously interested in breaking the habit. If the habit is related to a life-threatening disease such as cancer or heart disease your motivation to break the habit can be significantly strong enough so that nothing else may be needed.

3. Still another method is to quit cold turkey.  You may experience significant stress with this approach or you may perhaps experience some joy out of being able to make such a complete break.

This is not a method, but a decision that you make and are willing to stick with despite the potential discomfort that you will experience.

Finally, in my judgment the best way to break any habit is to follow the 5 main components of the habit reversal method:
1. Recognize that the habit is a strong or persistent urge that is not rooted in deeper psychological problems.
2. Keep precise record of urges and count the number of times that you actually succumb to them.
3. Develop an awareness of the chain of events that leads to or results in the unwanted behavior.
4. Learn relaxation method as a means of combating the urges.
5. And, substitute a response that incompatible with the unwanted behaviors.

If you really desire to quit any habit and take control of your life, this 5 easy step process really works.


What do you think? Leave your comments below.

4 Ways to Take Control Your Life and Break Bad Habits

To take control of your life, recognize that habits are response patterns to situations. If you are a smoker, you reach for a cigarette when the coffee is served, but not during the soup. You don't smoke or even want to in church, in the theater, in a courtroom, or in other places where no one usually smokes. However, given the right circumstances you will light up.

In order to break a habit, then, you must recognize that you must deal with the source of satisfaction - that is, you must want to change your ways and give up the real or imagined benefits; you must be aware of what you are doing, and, you must take in account the situation that had become associated with the habit.

A number of methods for habit breaking have been proposed by therapists working from different points of views. Here I will review some of them and recommend the one that I believe is the most effective.

1. One method for habit breaking is through negative practice. This is deliberately repeating a habit over and over again until you are totally bored with it. This method can be used when you seem to be unaware of when or why you are doing something. This procedure calls attention to the situation involved, which makes them recognizable so that preventive action can be taken. 

2. Another method that can be used is the tapering off method. This is a long-term process and works only if you are seriously interested in breaking the habit. If the habit is related to a life-threatening disease such as cancer or heart disease your motivation to break the habit can be significantly strong enough so that nothing else may be needed.

3. Another method is to quit cold turkey.  You may experience significant stress with this approach or you may perhaps experience some joy out of being able to make such a complete break. This is not a method, but a decision that you make and are willing to stick with despite the potential discomfort that you will experience.

4. Finally, in my judgment the best way to break any habit is to follow the five main components of the habit reversal method:

a. Recognize that the habit is a strong or persistent urge that is not rooted in deeper psychological problems.
b. Keep precise record of urges and count the number of times that you actually succumb to them.
c. Develop an awareness of the chain of events that leads to or results in the unwanted behavior.
d. Learn relaxation method as a means of combating the urges.
e. And, substitute a response that incompatible with the unwanted behaviors.

If you really desire to quit any habit and take control of your life this five easy step process really works.