10 Best Time Management Tips for the Busy Single Parent

When you manage something, you direct or control the use of it. Although you cannot direct time,has a significant effect on the success we experience in life.
you can certainly control your use of it. All of us have the same amount of time, but how we use it

Time management does not involve any secret principles. Rather it involves setting priorities, organizing your life according to those priorities, making a commitment to keeping them, and enjoying the journey along the way with less stress and more accomplishments.

Here are the 10 simple and easy time management strategies.


1. Do it immediately. If a task can be completed in less than a minute, do it on the spot. So instead of putting the glasses and dishes in the sink and walking away, Wash them right away. Get it over with.

2. Organize your documents. Learn how to organize your documents and photos on your home or work computer. Consider the many free photo organizing applications and the organizing features in your word processing applications and use one or more of them.

3. Purge your email of all unnecessary messages. Get serious about it.

4. Organize your bookmarks. Determine the categories that are important to you and set them up.

5. Count to ten when you feel snowed under by clutter and general disorder, Just putting things back in their rightful place including the trash can. And always have a bag ready for thrift store donations.

6. Organize and file your junk email. Establish at least two new email accounts. Use one for all the retail and internet, promotions you want to receive, and for your shopping. The other email account should be for your relatives, friends, and urgent emails. Visited these accounts twice a day and dispatch everything you don’t want to save into the recycle bin.

7. Cook more rice than you need for your today’s meal. Use leftovers for spanish rice, fried rice, red beans and rice, or other good rice recipes.

8. Organize your bookshelves. You may find a favorite book that you just totally forgot to read or that you can benefit from rereading. Others you may just decide to donate.

9. Recycle instantly. Keep waste baskets in strategic spots around your home, and deposit junk mail, and unwanted catalogs in them. Buy a shredder and remember to shred anything with sensitive information.

10. And, finally, start your day smart. Begin your day with a healthy and delicious breakfast. Consider oatmeal, fruit, and raisin toast, an omelet, grits, and wheat toast, a raisin toast sandwich of your choice of jam and cream cheese and a piece of fruit. Or if you prefer something even lighter, how about raisin toast, and cottage cheese with fruit. Reduce or eliminate the amount of meat you eat for breakfast. You’ll then be more alert and have more energy.


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Know Your Child's Most Important Developmental Need

A major misunderstanding of child rearing has been the idea that meeting a child's needs is an end in itself for the purpose of his mental health. 

Parents have not understood that this is but one step in social development, the goal of which is to help the child begin to consider others. 

As a result, they often have not considered their child but have instead allowed their child's reality to take precedence, out of a fear of damaging him emotionally.

Your Child’s Needs at Stages of Development

At each stage of development your child needs different resources from his family. During your first year, a variety of experiences and the availability of his parents for attachment are primary. 

During his second and third years, stimulation of language development is critical. During his years prior to school entrance, information that persuades him that he is loved becomes critical, and during his school years, it is important for him to believe that he can succeed at the tasks he wants to master.

Your Child’s Most Important Need

Overall, I don't believe that children can develop in a healthy way unless they feel that they have value apart from anything they own or any skill that they learn. 

They need to feel that they enhance the life of someone else, that they are needed. Who, better than parents, can let them know that?

What are your thoughts? Leave your comments below.

For Personal Development and Productivity - Start by Managing Your Time

Procrastinations, interruptions, and distractions are the three culprits that work against your efforts at personal development and productivity.

1. Procrastinations often arise because psychologically you don't want to do the task and consequently you keep putting it off. 

You either perceive the task as being too difficult, too aggravating, too provoking or all three and try to avoid doing it. 

However, avoidance is not the solution and the longer you put it off, the more anxious you will become. 

The solution is psychological in nature. You need to relax, visualize the most positive and constructive outcome you can, and then focus on the steps necessary to make the outcome a reality. Take the steps and then be pleasantly surprised at what happens.

2. Interruptions can be phone calls, someone wanting a face-to-face meeting with you, or any unanticipated event. 

Interruptions, however, can be prevented. If you're working at home consider structuring your day and vow to stick to your structure. 

Break your day down into time/task segments. For example, if according to your body clock, you are typically alert and do your best mentally challenging work early in the morning, schedule the first hour of the morning to do your research and writing if you work requires that. 

Then, schedule your organizing and filing at the end of the day. The hours in the late mornings and mid afternoons can be allocated for meetings, phone calls, appointments and lunch breaks.

3. Distractions are the result of an undisciplined mind. 

Distractions principally happen as a matter of choice. You can choose to be distracted by watching porn as some of our government workers were recently seen doing. You can choose to dwell on the argument you had with your spouse. Or, you can choose to be distracted by the computer games instead of focusing on your tasks.

While procrastinations are also a matter of choice, distractions are even more so. Procrastinations might indeed be associated with having to deal with an unsavory experience such as have to fire someone, reveal some other type of bad news to someone, or just doing something you just don't want to do but has to be done. 

Distractions on the other hand tend to result from an idle mind - a mind without a focus. Choosing to focus and act on constructive tasks with a strong desire to do so until you complete them eliminates distractions.

Your personal development as well as your productivity depends upon you clearly identifying these three culprits and taking the steps to eliminate them.

How have you been managing or eliminating these three culprits? Leave your comments below.

9 Superb Ways to Effectively Discipline your Child

Only the term discipline will be used here, I do not believe that punishment should ever be used in any attempt to manage children's behavior. 

The goal of all disciplinary strategies is to encourages positive behavior. 

Punishment breeds resentment and when the child gets older-- rebellion or even running away may happen. 

Consider these 9 Ways to Discipline Effectively:

1. Give children love. All children need to know they are loved. Younger children especially need the reassurance of hugs, kisses, smiles, and praise. Immediate praise encourages children to repeat positive behavior. 

2. Listen to your children. Adults like attention when they speak, so do children. Listen carefully do (not absentmindedly) to your child. Your child may be flattered by your interest and even try harder to please you. Busy parents need to set aside a special listening time each day for the children (for example while doing the dishes or before bedtime.)

3. Understand your child. Needs and wants change as children grow older. For example young children need to know parents are near. Most teenagers need some privacy as well as regular outings with friends. Listening and  observing carefully will help you deal with these changes.

4. Set limits. Realistic limits are necessary for safety and for the family’s’ happiness. Setting limits involves: Explanation-- Sharing with children the reason for the proposed limits. Discussion-- coming to an agreement on the need for the limits, and ensure that the limits are understood. Repetition – reminding children about limits until self-discipline developed.

Children may test you to see if you’re serious. At other times, they may forget what they are supposed to do. All youngsters need limits on: time (bedtime, curfews); boundaries (you may not know go here and not there); and, behavior (you may do this and not that). Enforce limits firmly and fairly 

5. Give rewards. To help establish what is desired, give praise properly every time your child responds appropriately. Younger children love smiles, hugs, kisses, and thank you’s. Older children respond to praise, special privileges, etc. (use material rewards sparingly.)

6. Promote independence. When children understand and agree to limits, they are learning to set their own. To promote independence allow your child to share in decisions. As he or she grows older, give increased responsibility for setting limits. Provide encouragement and comfort whenever your child experiences failure.

7. Discuss emotions. Let your child know you understand that he or she is angry and frustrated and that it's okay to feel that way. Let your child know your feelings, too. Eventually your child will learn to talk about feelings – instead of misbehaving.

8. Promote responsibility. Give children jobs to do at home. Even very young children can put away their toys and clothes. To encourage responsibility, discuss what needs to be done; assign jobs to each child (rotate chores for fairness); set time limits for completing jobs; and, check to make sure jobs are done. Praise children for completing tasks to help them develop their confidence.

9. Set a good example. Children learn from watching others. If you want them to be on time, you should be also. If you want them to pick up their clothes, you should pick up your own. If you want them to speak softly, so should you. If you want them to be polite, you should use "please", "thank you", etc., when talking with your children and others. You want them to stick to limits, you should set your own limits and stick to them.

            Do you accept the distinction between discipline and                punishment?  Leave your comments below. 

How Children Learn Social Skills

Children are much more comfortable when they know the guide rules for handling the social amenities. 

It is no more fun for a child to be introduced to a strange adult and have no idea what to say or do than it is for a grownup to go to a formal dinner and have no idea what fork to use.


What are Social Skills
As children grow older, they acquire a growing repertoire of social skills -- strategies used to interact effectively with others. Yet children vary considerably in their social competence. 

Some are courteous, some know how to initiate and sustain conversation, and regularly cooperate and share with peers, others are less skilled; they may be anxious and uncertain in social situations and keep to themselves, or they may shout, call names, use physical aggression, and in other ways alienate their age mates. 

Throughout their development, young people’s social skills affect the number and quality of their friendships.

Ways Children Acquire Social Skills
Children acquire social skills, equally as much from their interactions with their peers as from adults. 

They are likely to discover through trial and error, which strategies work and which do not, and later to reflect consciously on what they have learned. 

When children can’t resolve conflicts directly, the situation may quickly deteriorate. An example would be when preschoolers engage in fantasy play they must continuously communicate, negotiate, and compromise regarding the course of events – whose going to play the mother, who’s going to play the father, who’s going to play the child, etc.

Children also learn social skills by observing and experiencing the behavior of those around them. For instance, you may be intentionally or unintentionally model specific interpersonal styles – – upbeat, agreeable, and respectful of others rights and needs, or on the contrary, hostile and aggressive. So be aware.

Role of the Family
In addition to the acquisition of social skills, the knowledge of specific subject areas and acquisition of status for acceptable behavior are also responsive to family  influences. 

Families should provide a rich, physical, social, and intellectual environment in which children can explore physical phenomena, exchange ideas, and encountered challenging concepts.

What do you think. Leave your comments below.

Give Chores Based on Child's Age and Personality

Get your children involved in household chores beginning in the preschool years. 

Expecting children to be responsible for certain tasks helps your children to believe in themselves.

Now, review this list below, consider your child's age and personality, and select chores that are appropriate for your children. 

Preschoolers can handle one or two chores. As they gets older and more capable, they can handle a larger quantity of chores as well as those that are more complex.

Ages 2 to 3: Put toys away, fill pet's food dish, put clothes in hamper, wipe up spills, dust, pile magazines, choose clothes and dress self.

Ages 4 to 5: Above, plus, make own bed, empty wastebaskets, bring in mail or newspaper, clip weeds, use hand-held vacuum to pick up crumbs, water flowers, place plastic dishes in sink, and fix bowl of cereal.

Ages 6 to 7: Above, plus, sort laundry, sweep floors, handle personal hygiene, set and clear table, make and pack lunch, rake leaves, keep bedroom tidy, pour own drinks, answer telephone.

Ages 8 to 9: Above, plus, put away groceries, vacuum, help make dinner, make snacks, wash table after meals, put away own laundry, sew buttons, run own bath, make own vegetables, cook simple food (such as toast), mop floor, take pet for a walk, pack own suitcase.

Ages 10 and up: Above, plus, unload dishwasher, fold laundry, clean bathroom, wash windows, cook simple meal with supervision, iron clothes, do laundry, babysit younger siblings, mow lawn, clean kitchen, clean oven, change bed, make cookies or cake from box mix, have neighborhood job such as yard work or shoveling snow.

What importance do you place on chores? Leave your comments below and don't forget to Share It.

How to Survive Your Teenager and Ensure their Success

Every stage of life carries with it certain tasks of emotional development and adolescence is no exception. Adolescence is a major developmental bridge lasting from ages 13 and 18 and can be an extremely stressful time especially for a single parent. 

During this developmental period, adolescents have the following tasks to accomplish: 

• establish their own identity; 
• give up childhood dependency; 
• develop their own values; 
• deal constructively with authority; 
• learn to deal with the opposite sex; 
• and, handle their rampant physical and emotional changes. All this, while on the surface, rejecting their parent.

Recent research, however, indicates that teenagers learn to simulate the parent's values more than they do their friends. Although this may be surprising, it should also be viewed as helpful. 

The research indicates that the enduring values of their parent are in fact transmitted.  So then as a single parent you should take a look at what you can do to more positively influence your teenagers and get through the often tumultuous adolescent years with less stress.

Here are six actions you can take:

1. Don't fail their test of your love. If you must withhold, withhold your approval, not your love.
2. Don't insist on intimacy. Communication comes in many forms. If you are fortunate enough to have an adolescent who shares his or her feelings, that's great. If not, don't force it.
3. Be sure your teenager has some reasonable amount of privacy.
4. Set parental limits. Make your standards and expectations very clear, but not excessive. Excessiveness invites rebellion.
5. Take their problems very seriously no matter how small they may seem.
6. Finally, like everything else in life, realize that adolescence like everything else will pass. Keep your sense of humor and learn how to laugh at what is often only a temporary difficulty.

On the other hand, there are some indicators of genuine difficulty in an adolescent such as schoolwork becomes a significant problem; 

• there is persistent fighting and arguing at home;
• physical complaints, anxiety, and depression of a chronic nature; 
• there is significant difficulty in your child's social life such that she begins to avoid friends and isolate from others; 
• and, any self-destructive behavior, sexual promiscuity, drug use or abuse. 

Moreover, any mention of suicide should be taken seriously.

What are your thoughts. Leave your comments below.

Stess can be a Killer. Here are 3 Ways to Superbly Manage it

Stress is to be expected and embraced.

Stress is normal. Everyone feels stress related to work, relationships, choices, decisions, your future and more. 

Stress affects everyone everyday and for the most part, stress offers the push we need to respond to a pressing situation.

Because it offers the aforementioned push, stress can be positive. You need a certain amount of stress to perform best at work. 

The key to stress management is to determine the right amount of stress that will give you energy, ambition, and enthusiasm, versus the wrong amount which can harm your health and well being. 

Positive stress is a motivator, challenging you to act in creative and resourceful ways. Here are the 3 Ways to Superbly Manage It. 
 
1. Manage stress for personal benefit.
Acknowledge that stress is good and make stress your friend. Based upon the body's natural fight or flight response, that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. A professional sports player is never totally relaxed before a big game. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts.

2. Know that there is no life without stress.
Stress is a part of life in both small and large amounts. It comes with all of life's daily hassles and irritations such as traffic jams, long lines in the stores, dealing with a demanding boss, and arguing with a spouse or disciplining your child. 

Stress also comes with crises and life changing events such as illness, marriage problems, financial difficulties, divorce or death. All these events force you to adjust, whether you are prepared or not.

3. Don't hesitate to get help when needed. 
If stress is not managed properly, the constant and cumulative impact of stressors, both small and large, adds up to a big impact. Don't hesitate to consider counseling. 

It's not a sign of weakness to get help, rather it's a sign of a desire for personal growth and an increased capacity to cope with life's circumstances.

Leave your thoughts and comments below. And share this article.

6 Positive Ways to Survive Your Teenager

Every stage of life carries with it certain tasks of emotional development and adolescence is no exception.

Adolescence is a major developmental bridge lasting from ages 13 and 18 and can be an extremely stressful time, especially for a single parent. 

During this developmental period, adolescents have the following tasks to accomplish: establish their own identity; give up childhood dependency; develop their own values; deal constructively with authority; learn to deal with the opposite sex; and, handle their rampant physical and emotional changes. All this, while on the surface, rejecting their parents.

Recent research, however, indicates that teenagers learn to simulate the parents values more than they do their friends.

Although this may be surprising, it should also be viewed as helpful. The research indicates that the enduring values of their parent are in fact transmitted.

So then as a single parent you should take a look at what you can do to more positively influence your teenagers and get through these often tumultuous years with less stress.

Here then are 6 Positive Ways to Survive Your Teenager:
1. Don't fail their test of your love, if you must withhold, withhold your approval, not your love.
2. Don't insist on intimacy. Communication comes in many forms. if you are fortunate enough to have an adolescent who shares his or her feelings, that's great. If not, don't force it.
3. Be sure your teenager has some reasonable amount of privacy.
4. Set parental limits. Make your standards and expectations very clear, but not excessive.       Excessiveness invites rebellion.
5. Take their problems very seriously no matter how small they may seem.
6. Finally, like everything else in life, realize that adolescence like everything else will pass. Keep your sense of humor and learn how to laugh at what is often only a temporary difficulty.

On the other hand, there are some indicators of genuine difficulty in a teenager's life such as: schoolwork becomes a significant problem:

• there is persistent fighting and arguing at home;
• physical complaints, anxiety, and depression of a chronic nature;
• there is significant difficulty in your child's social life such that she begins to avoid friends and isolate from others;
• and, any self-destructive behavior, sexual promiscuity, drug use or abuse. Moreover, any mention of suicide should be taken seriously.

When professional help is recommended, often I will suggest family-oriented therapy, which involves to one degree or another the entire family.

While at times teenagers do need their own individual counseling, time spent working with the entire family can be particularly helpful to everyone involved. Call (773) 614-3201 for an appointment or for consultation.


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6 Key Reasons Why Children Misbehave and What to do About It

You need to recognize that the negative behavior accompanying certain stages is just a small part of the total child.

It should not become the main focus nor be pushed into the lime light. Rather, it should be addressed with love, understanding,  and effective discipline.

Now, here are the 6 Key Reasons Why Children Misbehave:

1. Hungry, tired, or sick. At times they misbehave just because they are hungry, tired, or sick.

2. Uninformed about wrong behavior. They were never told that a certain behavior was wrong.

3. Anger. Children may become angry when they don’t get what they want. If you give in to angry demands, your child learns that anger "works" and will continue to use it.

4. Fear. Children may be afraid of many things  (darkness, new people, failing in school, losing their parent's love etc.) Sometimes their actions are misinterpreted as deliberate misbehavior.

5. Jealousy. Children may be jealous of a new baby or a brothers' or sisters' accomplishments. They may use misbehavior to get attention.

6. Hurt. Feelings of hurt or disappointment can linger for a long time. Children may seek revenge against people they feel let them down.

Understanding the cause of misbehavior can help you choose an effective method of changing the behavior. 

Never give in to  inconsiderate behavior. When you give in to inconsiderate behavior, children tend to repeat the misbehavior. In order to break negative patterns you must learn to discipline effectively. 

You may also like 9 Ways to Discipline  Effectively. 

What are your thoughts? Leave your comments below.

5 Best Chore List Ideas for Single Parents

In addition to having your children take care of their clothes and personal belongings, you can greatly simplify your life by having them help with daily and weekly chores around the house.

Have your kids share the workload from the time they are very young.  

Give them more responsibility as they get older and are able to do more, but don't expect perfection right away.

Show them how you want things done and praise their early efforts.  Remember that it’s going to take them for time to learn how to do things right.  A gentle suggestion is more helpful to them than impatient criticism. 

Here are the 5 chore list ideas: 

1. Chores are an investment. 

Children who perform chairs chores have an investment in the family home.  

Unlike guests who enjoy the comforts of a home but are not part of what makes it function, children who do chores are personally attached to their home.

2. Chores foster skill development. 

Parents can gradually increase the complexity and number of chores their children are accountable for. As children master an array of tasks, they learn many new skills that help them in other areas of their lives. 

When parents take the time to teach their children how to do different jobs, the children learn how to learn.  They find out they can successfully take on new and different tasks.

3. Chores foster a sense of accomplishment. 

Children enjoy a wonderful feeling of accomplishment when they look back at a job well done.  When children know that their contribution of time and energy has tangible results, they’re motivated to do more.  Smart parents give their children jobs that have visible results and then comment positively on those results.

4. Chores give a feeling of pride. 

Lots of encouragement and praise is important.  Children may take a long time to complete a new job, and you may find the results lest than gratifying.  However, given time, practice, and encouragement, they will keep adding skills to their growing list of abilities.  When parents point out their successes, they feel proud and big.

5. Chores teach that everyone is expected to contribute to the family's well-being. 

Paying children to do chores puts an entirely different slant on the issue.  Payment tends to create the illusion that if children don’t want the money, they aren’t obligated to do the chores.  Family chores should be seen as a child’s contribution to family life, not as an option.

The rewards of being an important part of the family are much more valuable than a few dollars of allowance. 

Contributing to the smooth running of the family gives children self-esteem, confidence, independence, pride, accomplishment, and mastery of important life skills.


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7 Signs of Bad Teaching and What You Can Do About It

    

You are your child's first teacher. This is not only true, but you as the parent remain responsible for 
your child's education throughout his or her total school experience.

Parental attitude have greater correlation with pupil achievement than material home circumstances or variations in school and classroom organization, instructional materials, and particular teaching practices.

Your attitude must be that  you want and deserve teachers who are competent and effective for your child.

A bad teacher can destroy your child's self-confidence, devastate his desire to learn, dampen his achievements, and leave emotional scars. You can't afford to allow your child to be subjected to incompetent teachers. You must keep tuned in to detect bad teaching.

Here are seven signs of bad teaching to be aware of:

1. The teacher has low expectations for your child.
2. The teacher can't communicate knowledge in an interesting way.
3. The teacher is not aware of your child's strength's, weaknesses, and interests.
4. The teacher gives disorganized lessons and vague, careless assignments
5. The teacher shows little enthusiasm in his or her work.
6. The teacher does not assign homework on a regular basis.
7. The teacher belittles your child's efforts.

Moreover bad teaching should not be the norm in your child's school. You have every right to understand what's happening to your child and teachers have the responsibility to share that information without prejudicial judgment.